


My Ascian Journey

by HistoryofAmaurot



Category: Ascian - Fandom, Final Fantasy XIV, Shadowbringers - Fandom, convocation - Fandom, final fantasy xiv endwalker
Genre: Astral Projection, Dolores cannon past-live regressions, F/M, Meditation, Paranormal, Past Lives, Prophetic Dreams, Prophetic Visions, Soul Bond, Soul Sex, The Astral Plane, Visions in dreams, are ascians real, ascianity, ascians as spirits, ascians on earth, do the ascian exist, paranormal activity, soul awakening, spiritual awakening, the true history of the Source
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HistoryofAmaurot/pseuds/HistoryofAmaurot
Summary: this will be a story of my believes, why i believe the ascian exists. The Real ascians exist as Spirits here.this is not a indoctrination, I am only sharing what I believe in, you do not need to believe it, and I am not forcing anyone.i have witnessed way too much spiritual events to conclude that they exist.this story is NOT for skeptics. allot of unexplainable events and occurrences and also confirmation found in books will appear in this story.This story will contain adult/mature content later in the story but that will be notified at the start of that chapter.i'll eventually make a correct order of events story starting from before the sundering in a separate work.i wont post everything directly since i dont got much time the write. but it will eventually get there.my twitter: https://twitter.com/Ascianity
Relationships: Elidibus/his sister, elidibus/fiance (later in the story), emet-selch/student
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

This story is about my experiences with entities known as the Ascians of Final Fantasy 14 (FFXIV)  
You will probably declare me crazy. like every other does who doesn’t believe certain fantasies might be real instead of fiction.  
Luckily enough I‘m not the only one with similar experiences with the same entities.  
But eventually it costed my face on Twitter for being open about it. 

It started with dreams, very vivid dreams, some lucid and later on even events from the past.  
But prior to the dreams I hated the Ascians, so where did it all of a sudden came from?  
If it were just spirit guides taken their form, why would they choose characters that I hate? It does not compute.  
Later actual paranormal things happened after patch 5.3 but I will tell those later (chapter 6). 

I am and was already a very spiritual person when it all started and I am able to communicate with my higher self (HS) with the pushing forward/backward method while standing. This way I was able to get answers to make sure I wasn’t loco or making things up. I still use this method till today because its quick.  
but I have to advance and break through the veils and eventually to hear them actually speaking with words through meditation and even telepathy.  
No idea if I can ever manage telepathy but who knows? 

Books Of Dolores Cannon made me realize that certain fantasies aren’t fantasies at all. But stories that have actually happened on for example another planet in people’s past-lives. And that those stories what we call fiction is actually a remembering of their past life on that planet before their souls came to Earth. In The Convoluted Universe books by Dolores are some interesting terms that are the same as in FFXIV. Warriors of light are mentioned. Yes I am not joking. The council of Twelve. Or mentioned as “the Twelve”, void portals and lots of others stuff that can be linked to the World of FFXIV known as the Source. Aren’t you mind blown yet? I sure was when I was reading all of that. 

These books were an extra confirmation that the Ascians must exist, and are here in spirit form, because it’s a Game here. They are telling the game developers the story of what happened on their planet through imprinting it in their minds, the developers think its there own idea, ofcourse their own fantasy is still mixed in.

They wanna be remembered, remembered that they once lived. And came to Earth to tell their story.


	2. The first Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first dreams i had being an ascian, emet-selch student and elidibus's sister during amaurot times.

The first dreams began on January 24th 2020.  
The second one was about 1 week later. And the third one on February 7th  
But the actual first dream was halfway august 2019 when I finished the main story of shadowbringers  
I had a dream Emet-Selch asked me to come with him and stretched out his hand, I declined because I didn’t trust him, also I still hated the ascians at that point. He walked away disappointed, the dream ended.

But here are the first ascians 3 dreams I had:  
I was walking outside of a house. (It was I believe the old house where my mom used live with me and my sisters long ago. We only lived there for 2 years )

I flew up a bit, turned into an ascian with cloak and all. I apparently knew this and wasn’t surprised. I tore open a hole in the night sky with my hands. It was called a dimension timeloop-hole. Before I whent in, I looked up looked at the stars and said, thank you Emet. i let my self sucked in the black hole and landed in a parallel version of Earth. i don’t exactly know where i was, but almost in the same district. I was scaring some random people and left giggling on a flying chair xD ( teasing like haunter of pokemon would do).well it was mostly a hovering chair above the ground.

After that I spontaneously was somewhere else. In a building, people were bullying me because I was an ascian. They were yelling and calling me names. I walked away and said: I wished Emet was here, he would even be nicer to me then they are. …I just wanna go home. I whent outside the building its was midday clear sky and bright sunlight.

The building looked a bit like the elementary school I was on when I was 10~12 but allot bigger. And a huge schoolyard full of people demonstrating against something. In the distance there was a tall building and on the wall I saw a portal to the Source. I recognized it due the golden flames around it like the logo has. The inside was glowing purplish pink very bright. 

To everyone I said (while flying/floating above the crowd) LOOK it’s a portal!

I flew towards it but when I arrived its was already closed. I was so disappointed, while half flying I tried to climb up the wall to look for a small opening. I couldn’t find any. And I said: I just wanna go home….i cried of despair

After that I dimension hopped to somewhere else. It was an in between world of this world and the FFXIV one. Where usually my dreams take place. At first I landed in some sort of department store with 4 floors (called the Hema in my city). Where I wanted to leave as soon as possible because no one was suppose to see I’m an ascian. I ran outside. Its was dark again. I found myself on the city streets, slightly relieved because this was the in between world, but I still wasn’t home yet.

The first person I saw was Estinien in totally different armor and carrying a different lance. I could tell it was him because of the white hair sticking out of the helmet and his face obviously. He walked straight passed me with no reply. I called after him: Estiniiieeeennn! He didn’t looked back. Why I don’t know. I also don’t know why I didn’t chased him, which I usually do in my dreams. (i was prior this dream crazy for Estinien) 

After walking a bit on the place where usually market stalls are on Friday and Saturday (in Zwolle netherlands) . I saw someone running in what looked a dude in Estinien’s old red armor. I noticed which way he was running so I ran towards him. I blocked him from going further in a power grip on his waist. When holding him I noticed black hair coming from underneath the helmet. I said: oh you’re not Estinien.  
Guy: Oh? Is Estinien here?  
Me: Yes but he is hard to find,   
I gave him my business card that was invisible (like your character getting an item in game) and I said: contact me when you see him  
Guy: [redacted].com? (he apparently can read invisible? xD’)  
Me: yes the email that on the card.  
Guy: ok! And he ran off.

That was the dream, as for the result of waking up I woke up with terrible migraine, my eyes hurt. And even could even feel my third eye resonating of this entire event. Which gave also headache exactly on that place. I had a hard time to actually wake up, as if my soul wasn’t returned fully yet. As if I didn’t know where I was, while at the same time I definitely know where I was.  
Later I started to ask questions to my higher self, to see if there was truth in it. If the Source or at least the planet that contains the story we know of as FFXIV might exists or not. And it did…..  
And the question if the story of amaurot actually happened, it did. Thus came the question if I was actually an ascian. And gained other yes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. But then the question remained which ascian I was? or rather which convocation member? The rumors were already going on that the Wol/d was the 14th member but defected. But this answer was given later.  
Any-who the sorrow in the dream was real, devastating, most terrible home sickness you could imagine, I was torn apart. i have been feeling lost on this forsaken planet called Earth for 2 months straight. The desire to go home was strong and still is.

Dream # 2  
The training from Emet  
I don’t really know anymore how exactly it started, but it looked like this should have taking place before the first one. In terms of timeline events.

I was Emet’s apprentice, he was teaching me his fingersnap magicks. He stood at the back of me showed me how, after showing he went off watching me.  
I had to make things float with telepathy, make it turn around (the thing looked like a Dratini plushie) and that all with 1 fingersnap. After a couple of times trying I succeeded. I was proud on myself like a 12yo, I told Emet who was sitting in a garden on a wooden chair at a wooden round table and a tree above it drinking coffee. He gave me a gentle smile but didn’t said a thing. The garden which we were in looked a bit at the house where my dad used to live (those houses are destroyed long ago), but then neatly tidied up, instead of 1 big forest of bird seed weeds lol.

After that wanted to try again. But suddenly it was in public, the place had turned in to a some sort of restaurant outside. But still looked a bit like the garden. There were multiple people saw me doing my practice……….they became angry and said I needed to quit. I told them to go away and leave me alone or something like that or else I will blow them away. Too bad directly someone from the side gave me a punch on my head, directly after the other started to hit me as well. I fell my knees protecting my head with my arms and screamed : Emet help me!

Right at the moment I woke up the last image I saw was he standing at the back of me, and I felt I was kicked in the lower back. As the result of waking up. That kick was real as fuck. Because I noticed it when I woke up. Also my bottom half of my body I felt pushed away for like 50cm of its place. Some kind of push kick, not to hurt me. But enough to wake me up. I was relieved that i was awake. Also to mention no one was behind me. But that kick was real.

Dream #3  
Teasing Elidibus, 

The dreams started about something random with pokemon with jessy and james in a airplane. And suddenly I was at an apartment in a flat building on the highest floor of the building I think the 11th floor? with my ex and son of almost 9 yo. I walked in the corridor to another room, when I encounter Elidibus. He asked me if I would like to join them. I’m not sure if I actually said no I don’t believe I did. But I didn’t said yes either. I walked away back to the empty livingroom catching Pokemon coming from tiny void portals. The portals were not bigger then a yellow (galia?) melon. My son joined in and my partner was watching from the single chair that was there, I caught a lapras. The irony was that you couldn’t see the pokemon, you needed to throw the fucking ball at the portal and then when the ball hit the pokemon you could see what you caught. This whent on a couple of times until on the other side of the room it didn’t worked anymore tried again with higher speed and more balls once ones really rapid firing speed, it didn’t work. I told my son and ex I gonna ask Elidibus what to do.

So I left those 2 alone on search for Elidibus. Now this part was pretty vague, but after it was clearer again. 

The vague part: I found him once, but he ignored me and disappeared. So I started yelling Elidibus all the focking time in funny ways to make fun of him until I noticed him smirking at me, and suddenly I found myself outside the building with my ex and son it looked like a tiny park and it was cloudy weather. We watched how a Moltres changed into a Moltres with a fearow head. And after that something that became a ho-oh with a huge ass chibi head. I gained the message though telepathy that I needed to catch those. But didn’t know its was Elidibus saying that. The deformed pokemon flew away, I chased them.

Suddenly I found myself somewhere else. i recognized the place , but from long ago. I don’t believe it exists in the same state anymore or is destroyed for new buildings. Anyhow i was at a place with flats very high ones and a elementary school I don’t know about. I whent suddenly on my bike, riding on the side walk. Then all of a sudden a group of eldery woman crossed my path, making issues that I would bumb into them. I stood up for myself saying that I wouldn’t and they whent way. My ex was walking behind me with our son in the buggy all the time………………………….my bike disappeared I turned around and noticed my son in the buggy being not older then a 1 yo! I looked 3 full seconds deeply to my son. And replied to my ex: this is the past! Rowan is 9yo! Elidibus did this he sended me to the past.

My ex was like: oh that makes sense. 

I ran back to the front of those flats I saw something flying far far above the flats I could only see the shade.I screamed Elidibus! Come here now!. Too bad that flying thing wasn’t Elidibus but probably the malformed pokemon. I kept yelling Elidibus!3x, Emet for once even though I wasn’t sure he would come, even lahabrea came to mind but I stopped myself there because I knew he was dead. Scream another time for Elidibus but he didn’t came.

I was pissed, my ex and son were gone and I walked next to a huge flat (on my right side) which I finally knew which one it was. BUT on my left side everything was grass field. And in the very far distance there was that flat where my dream started. (Originally where the grass was in my dream there are houses and a tiny park in RL.) while walking and catching a sneasel like in Pokemon go. Sometimes the balls disappeared when being thrown very wierd . I came the thought to myself; maybe he is annoyed I didn’t said “yes” yet. Perhaps I shall just join them.

After that a caught an Abra, but something was wrong with the ball. I needed to close it with my hand to catch it afterwards. The ball didn’t locked anymore so I throwed it away, I saw the second entity flying in the air. I screamed 1 last time for Elidibus, but it was the chibi head ho-oh.  
And then the alarm clock whent off.

The dream was soo funny I wake up laughing my ass off. To my experience, I experienced it as extremely funny. Even though it might not look like that when you read this. I mean how funny is it to ask Elidibus how to catch pokemon from a void portal xD.  
He knows I hate him, but he secretly likes my teasing because of that smirk, only to tease me back.  
I think this endeavor to tease me back wasn’t that bad, it was like a “don’t fuck with me” answer. It also didn’t feel bad at all. It felt like…. He was my older brother (which I don’t have in RL)……..

I got allot of ascian dreams after this, but those are for another chapter.


	3. The dreams whent on and on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of ascian dreams and the powers i used and learned.

Some of the dreams I am gonna tell might have cut-out piece part that doesn’t apply to it at all, if needed I will leave a note for it at the start.  
Thus some dreams might look very short while it was a very long dream to begin with. Also allot of dreams might not have ascian encounters in them but me being one, or use/learn my ascian powers within the dreams. And a single lahabrea encounte at aroundabout, but he was floating above me, and I hated him at that point so ignored him.  
This dream was shortly after 5.2 iirc

Training of Elidibus:  
The evening before I whent to bed, I was in the forest at full moon. It illuminated the whole forest. Though I was still feeling lost, that my soul originally came from a different planet, and wanted to go back home. Out of sorrow I looked at the moon, and said out of the blue “Elidibus, if emet doesn’t come to train me in my dreams, can you do it?” I had developed a crush on emet in the few weeks that had past.  
This was because emet didn’t came into my dreams for a couple of weeks only other random ascians.  
That night I dreamed that I was practicing to go through void portals, under guidance of Elidibus. The training was on the side walk near a roundabout. I tried a couple of times, whent in and came out on the same place. Not sure if that was the meaning of it, but it seemed so since it was a training.  
After coming out of a void portal I had a thought “Emet knows I love him, that’s why he stays away. I like Elidibus too but as a friend and not to fell in love with” then I woke up. ( well that changed on Nov 4th like allot instantly, but iam not gonna tell things criss-cross)  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Caring Elidibus:  
So this was in the in between state of awake and dreaming. I didn’t know this was a thing back then but it’s the same state you are in during a QHHT session, also known a past-life regression. In this state you can see actual spirits too.  
So I was shivering of the cold, probably kicked my blankets of my body. But I was awake and dreaming at the same time, thus that in between state, I turned around and noticed Elidibus floating at my feet end of the bed. He teleported( or something like that) some blanket and laid it upon me. I felt myself turning warm again. Then I came out of that trance and noticed I was wrapped around in the blanket, but noticed I was very cold before but indeed warming up again.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Overpower:  
I was in a building/room with other people. I was wearing a full ascian cloak. And Elidibus was watching from a distance. I felt a huge power of dark energy coming up and gained that purple glow around me. I liked it. I felt all powerfull, it was an addictive feeling, almost raised too much in my head but still under control. I gained a big smirk on my face and started to cast magic, what exactly what I don’t remember. Then I woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
4 Lucid’s  
These were smaller dreams that whent into each other. The first 2 were that I was able to make a energy orb actually visible. Mostly they are invisible in my dreams. And able to walk through walls and something with being kicked out of school because of the use of magic.  
The last 2 are a continuation of each other  
I was somewhere in a tiny village I didn’t wore my ascian robes for precaution, primitive people were living there, but they did understood English and were able to speak it as well. The house looked like the middle ages, but the people weren’t, they hardly has any clothing on, they had only skirts of reed and wooden sandals. And some had a headdress with feathers. (I didn’t noticed any woman). After observing I asked a man that I was earching for my teacher in magic.  
The man said they were against magic because evil  
I said I wasn’t evil and I described the ascians for him and elidibus because he was wearing white robes( what the man found very surprising) and that he is a balancer of light and dark, he seemed to understand and immediately I needed to follow him. Then I had my ascian robes on again. He pointed me to the area where I needed to go. We were standing at the edge of the village. And there was a long straight road. And across the road is where I needed to be.  
Here there was I short interruption of the dream, but continued:  
So I need to get across the road. On the other side it was foggy. Its was a huge grassfield with rectangle lake. The man asked is I had a place to stay for the night. Ik said I didn’t had a standard place to sleep. Then I left and whent across the road. I whent to a place near the corner of the lake where the energy was the highest. Out of nowhere Loghrif ran toward me, (he was a guy here) he was happy to see me and wanted to give me a hug. So we did. He had lots of blond hair, styled backwards, looked like a failed Johnny bravo haircut or something. After the hug I turned right and a couple of other ascians were appearing and were also happy to see me. Then I noticed Igeyorhm and Emet , I left the rest srronding me and whent straight to emet giving him a kiss.  
All of us whent to sleep somewhere on wooden benches.  
Then we were spontaneously awaked with a alarming voice “the key of the water reservoir is stolen!” we all ran towards that place. I noticed ( while running) I was holding a key, and hoped it was the correct one. When finally arrived I tried the key but it became clear it wasn’t to correct one.  
I said toward the one who waked us”if I had my black magic training I could have helped”. We continued searching on foot, often also running.  
Then I said it again later. And he put up some deal. I wasn’t happy with it but accepted it. Then I woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Next dream I was slightly mind blown when I re-read it to write it down digital. I literally predicted the white amaurot robes on elidibus, this was wayyyy before 5.3, I think this dream was at the start of March somewhere like the first day's of march. There was no hint he would wear white amaurot robes to begin with not even in fan art at that time. Or atleast I didn’t noticed it any art or modded pics, I didn't whent to twitter until after 5.3.  
Its was dark outside, I was at a Harbor. I was wearing black amaurotine robes this time.  
I was walking around and came across some market stalls, I was looking for stuff I could re-sell for more. Eventually I didn’t buy anything. So I whent to the docks of the tiny harbor. I felt an energy field or source above the water, and decided to try to open a void portal. I saw a person with white Amaurotine robes who looked like Elidibus. At that time I wasn’t sure if it was him but I called him Elidibus anyway. I asked him if he could help me to open that void portal.and so he did. The portal became more visible and bigger, but then I woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Weather control powers:  
I skip the beginning of end it  
I was with a couple of friends and we were outside and I saw very dark clouds in the air, I was not in the mood for rain because the sun was shining so nicely. So I bended the clouds while I was singing my own version of Let it go:” let it go, let it go, we dont want any rain today. Let it go, let it goooo, please go awayyyy” and some other text which I have forgotten.  
While singing I sended the clouds away from us. A few seconds later they returned. I sended them away again but this time farther away and with the song lol. But then the clouds became pitch black and formed a Tornado. The Tornado had its own will it seemed because it was aimed at me. Luckily it wasn’t a very wide tornado, so when it came at me , I stood still and charged my ki powers. I was making a energy ball to destroy the tornado. The tornado whent straight through me and I gained allot of powerfull energy from it. I used that energy to make a bigger energy ball. The tornado turned but went around me this time. I finished my energy ball. I whent to the middle of the tornado and shot the ball up for like a 100 meters into the air in to the tornado. The energy ball shot ot of the tornado and the Tornado was destroyed. The people that were watching were very happy.  
Some dream that I was pregnant of emet, and elidibus wasn’t happy with it he didn’t said why. Allot happened in between which isn’t necessarily to mention. The end of it:  
At some pole on a building I saw a projection of emet’s face in amaurot robes and his hand halfy in front of his face to show his glyph then I woke up.  
\---------------------------------

Incorrect statements:  
The dream was going already for a while but couldn’t remember the start of it.  
I was in a room with other people and someone was standing and called out statements. I agreed with everything until the last one. Emet= bilderberg  
Me: no  
At emet I saw a typicall “!”above his head like in anime series.  
Me: “no, no I am out of here”. I waved my right hand and walked out through the door. “this is going to far”  
Emet stood up and came after me and said “honey!”. I sat down on a wooden chair with a wooden table. Then he walked toward me gave me a hug. He was very grateful for standing up for him like that. Then I woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
To spare me the nightmare writing down here, I needed to fight evil spirits until my powers where drained and couldn’t fight anymore. It ended with emet-selch saving me from it. When I called for him to save me then I woke up. Oh yes it was full moon outside. \---------------------------------------------------------------- At this time I was reading Dolores Cannon books. People think it’s a fantasy novel. Yeah right. Nope its isn’t. Dolores cannon invented a technique to get people thus far into trance they can see their past-lives. This she recorded the sessions and published into her books. She was a dedicated mystery lore hunter so to say. Most of the old souls here on earth are from other planets and galaxies . And came here to learn life lessons. Since Earth is a learning school for souls.  
I asked some question to my Higher self later that day about Emet. if it was a spirit pretending to be him : nope.  
and he lives on a distant planet ( I wasn’t thinking of the Source yet that came later) but cam come into peoples dreams.  
I even asked for an In game prediction for 5.3. A small scene he would appear it at the end. Well that came true, since locking up Eli is technically the end  
5.4 a small scene at the end, well that didn’t came true but he was mentioned again by y’shtola towards Fandaniel.  
5.5 would show his face/coming back  
6.0 reformed emet returns  
Questions that are about the future can still be bend towards other outcomes. So I’am not surprised if the rest wont come true. Yet the 5.3 was conclusive and did happen.  
I asked my higher self to visit emet in a dream on the planet he was atm. And so that dream happened.(tis was till way before 5.3)  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
April 4th 2020  
Well its wasn’t the Source but I couldn’t find emet either though according to other people he was there. The sky was purple and dark pink mixed into each other. I whent towards a mountain, there was a path on the side and I flew towards the top. On the top of the mountain It was dark, and dark clouds covered the sky. I saw a woman dressed in black. she looked like Gaia but as an adult (what, loghrif much?) but she wasn’t the oracle of darkness/Gaia. This came to the subject after asking where emet was. Later I found myself at the bottom of the mountain again. I was being attacked by something. I fought it off with energy attacks. Then I gained a message I needed to come to the training from Emet. I tried to find him by asking people where he was. They had all weird unnatural hairstyles XD. After a while finally someone pointed me out to go to the top of the mountain again. so I did. I believe I saw him for a sec but changed his appearance thus quickly that I wasn’t sure anymore if it was him or not. Then suddenly I was inside a house upon the mountain. Where I saw the possible emet. I asked is he was emet. he said no.  
Me: but where is he then?  
He pointed downwards farther away from the mountain. ( I believe this was still emet but was fooling me). Then I found myself at the foot of the mountain again. I looked around strange shaped buildings all around me they looked like block boxes with sloping slopes at the sides. I was in somewhat of a courtyard. Then I saw Elidibus coming down of 1 of those slopes.  
Me: Elidibus is here.  
He shapeshifted into something that looked like a shiny ditto poipole form. (I don’t know why ok) and flew past me. I stretched my hand out and said: “Wait!” but he didn’t . so I chased him through all the weird passageways while flying. When he returned to him normal shape (in ascian robes) he whent through 2 ginormous squares that were in between the buildings  
Me: Brother wait!  
After passed by the second square I was at the end of the building complex. I saw elidibus just going round the corner to the right.  
A ginormous truck blocked my way for a second but I pushed it away like it was nothing more then a bench 0-o. then I chased Elidibus again. I saw him turning around the corner again. but when I turn the some corner he wasn’t there anymore, some other things a saw, and then woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
April 5th 2020  
Some chaotic dream about elidibus being in ardberts body. I need to do stuff I cant remember what sadly.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
April 6th 2020  
Skipping allot from the beginning here, it was a dream I had under control. The area where this happened was in the neighborhood I grew up with.  
I was challenged by some random people to battle. They had a dragon or well they said they had one.  
I tried to summon estinien but it turned out to be a robotlike one with a futuristic sword of 30meters (100ft?) when robotinien didn’t succeed to hit properly because the sword was too big. I tried again  
Me: Estinien! And this time the real one please!  
Something came from above it was estinien in his old HW armor. But when landed on the floor it changed to someone in a black hood and walked away. Robotinien whent haywire.  
Me: fine then…. Owwww Nidhogg!!!!!  
I was standing on a slope next to a flat building, it’s the roof of a tiny shack with a slope as roof. And I small flat surface to sit or stand upon. The actual Nidhogg appeared and destroyed the robot and absorbed the energy coming from it. Nidhogg changed into a golden color and whent/flew away without trouble.  
Then something random happened and after I woke up. No ascians but I used summoning powers.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Just let me write my thing. allot of dreams will be coming again in the next chapter, actual paranormal shit is after 5.3 so that’s gonna take while before I get there.


	4. Dreams continuation

So allot of people on twitter still see the fact that i had Pokemon in a dream as stupid? I cant find the right word for it, Its still a dream. Even though the Ascians are massively present in my dreams other things will still be mixed in. also the predictions in the previous chapter was about Emet-selch and not Elidibus. and about the white amaurot robes (I do not mean the ascian robes) I never truly saw fan art at that given time or datamined models. Its may so exist then yes. But I never saw it before.

Another thing, my beliefs are matching the wiccan style. So whats going on on twitter is a literal witch hunt to tear me apart.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
Visting emet-selch as solus (cloned body)

The dream started with a show with something FFXIV related allot of people where there, and it ended with lahabrea appearing and floating in the air showing off his powers over the entire hall. I felt attracted to it and ran up front. My ascian cloak appeared and I was standing with my arm raised up. Something like a apprising stance or something. I tried to fly upwards but didn’t work. I tried to jump what usually work but also failed. Is was asking my ex “whats going on?” but he didn’t know either.  
Lahabrea left and emet held a end of speech. Before I left I checked Emet once more.  
We were walking out of the hall. We went up a huge staircase on the left side. When upstairs we discovered we were in the imperial palace. But looked quite modern and fancy at the same time. (Not as much of what we have seen in game) then i told my ex I wanted to visit emet. his reply on that: ya sure? otherwise he'll kill you.  
Me: what? No why would he do that?  
I went downstairs on the same one we just went up. I stand at the door opening. I noticed the hall was turned into a meeting room. I saw emet sitting at the head of the table. I looked at my feet and asked if I could come in.  
Emet: you do not need to ask that.  
When I walked towards emet he said: who old are you, you look like 12.  
Me: well thank you (sarcasm), I am actually 20 years older then that. I’am 32.  
Emet: how is it possible that you can also look like as youthful as me? (reference to the endless clones)  
Me: runs the family I guess, my mom also looks like atleast 10 years younger of her age.  
Then I looked at the back of me and saw my son run into the hall. He tried to bumped into me on purpose but before he hit me, I feint to the side.  
Me ex told me (while standing at the entrance) that we needed to go.  
Me: ow but I wanted to ask something.  
But I needed to leave so I did but gave one last look to Emet.  
He smiled at me, a very kind one.  
When at home I wanted to send him a valentine’s present but I didn’t know the exact address. But in 1 way or another I was able to enter Garlemald for the delivery address at the check out on the webstore. Some blurry text appeared, and sent him a present . but I don’t know what.  
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This dream was about the time I still didn’t fully trust elidibus, I kinda hated him sometimes but more as the annoying brother variant.  
Elidibus challenged me with something. I summoned a star shower with a fingersnap.  
He wanted me on his side. (even though I joined later but whatever)  
I laughed and said: no, I still hate you, even though you are my brother. Just give me a chance to seduce emet.  
Elidibus: “seduce emet?” he laughed loudly. “very well I give you the chance, but you need to find him yourself”  
Me: ok!  
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Sadly it didn’t continued, I was in the in between state of dreaming and awake and fully woke up shortly after saying ok. Elidibus’s appearances are often very short in dreams, while Emet usually last longer.  
Finding the real elidibus.  
It started with Elidibus in ascian robes and Elibert (somehow)  
I started to wonder who the real one was. Some cutscene lines were said, like he was talking to himself.  
I needed to find out who was the real one.  
I entered a big hall with different kinds of activities. Some flying contest and to catch mewtwo. I did both. But I was apparently in a group that was falling apart, the reason I don’t know. Elidibus probably caused this, because I gained an image in my head that the one in ascian robes was the real one.  
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Finding emet:  
The start was mostly nonsense even though Emet appeared in it. The end ended with I needed to take a picture of some lines he said as a proof he would return and will be untempered. I made the pic and woke up. (looks like 5.3 trial scene the returning and untempered) this dream was about April 15th 2020

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April 17th from here now on I was keeping the dates at the nights the dreams happened.  
this dream started with random stuff but halfway it turned interesting.  
I walked out of a huge house to go for a walk. After walking for a bit I entered an area where Ardbert is supposed to live and his comrades. Thunderparkzea was it called or something.  
Ardbert welcomed me, and said something about elidibus and that he needed to be destroyed. I agreed with that.  
Then elidibus appeared at a small distance further away from us. Suddenly I was there too. and he appeared above my head. It was a big grass field with trees on the sides and a big lake. He wore black ascian robes to fool me. But I knew it was him no doubt.  
Elidibus: come and get me.  
I launched some dark attacks and he left. I went on my bicycle and drove toward the other side of the city where Cid resides. I walked into his house or his iron works place whatever it was. And asked Cid if he could help me tracking down Elidibus. On 1 monitor we noticed he was back again at the same place where he was before. “that is where ardbert lives” I said.  
then I walked out I talked to 3 kids that were supposed to be the next gen Wol’s when they grow up. After I told them something I learned from the Dolores books I read about a Soul walk-in. They were amazed and then they disappeared.  
When I returned to the place again Ardbert was waiting for me.  
Ardbert: he is over here!  
Me: ok!  
Suddenly a friend of mine appeared also (who had red curled short hair btw all though in RL dark brown or black), and we started to fight Elidibus with the 3 of us.  
I fired some dark attacks I explained my friend: “dark is just an element its doesn’t have to do with being evil”  
Elidibus flew away again. Ardbert wasn’t able to hit him because he couldn’t fly so he watched us fight. Even though he tried attacking elidibus.  
My friend casted a crystallization attack upon Elidibus. Elidibus gained a husk of purple crystal around his legs and lower body. It was meant that he would crash but that didn’t work. Though Elidibus had some trouble with flying he skimmed over the water. We chased him. Then all of a sudden I was on my bicycle again driving through that park. After a short time I realized I was battling before with Elidibus and turned around. Then I was back into the fight again. sadly I cant remember how the battle ended. At the end Ardbert thanked me and said he probably wont return soon.

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April 27th 2020  
Even though the vivid dreams continue not everything was worthwhile writing down. 2 days ago (April 25th) I had a dream about Elidibus again. I was messing with him. I was wearing white robes this time that looked a bit like Fandaniel had.(back then unknown name) I walked away repositioned my hood and did some randomly crazy acting.  
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April 30th 2020  
Asking elidibus to put off his mask to show his face. Its was funny I was jesting him. He didn’t do it though, but when I asked I gained an image in front of my eyes, that he had silver hair and a pretty boy face .  
I kept repeating 3x “please don’t look hot” because he is my brother. I closed my eyes and then woke up.  
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May 17th 2020  
I was in a building looking for Elidibus, also Emet but that would be bonus. Then I saw elidibus somewhere and he left towards the Chrysalis dimension. So I went searching within that building for hidden portals. And asking allot of people if they had seen any that elidibus had used.  
I came to notice the building was used for a cosplay contest and at the end of the day people sold their costumes. In 1 way or another I thought to find eli’s robes between to others, but ofcourse it wasn’t there.  
Some weird happenings with possessed elevators in between. A blonde girl helped to get out of it.  
I asked her if she had seen Elidibus. She went thinking for a sec. and suddenly we were back in the hall and pointed upwards. There was a portal in the ceiling! My head fitted through but not the rest. I asked her to support me so that I could get the hole wider. And she did. After some pushing I gained a wider opening and went through.  
once through it I sudden was wearing a garbage bag. I torned it apart so it would look like a cheap ass robe. I noticed a quick flash of Elidibus and he teleported away. I continued searching and I turned the corner towards the stairs. And there was a man sitting. I asked If he had seen Elidibus or emet. he said something but it was unclear what he said. Then I noticed Elidibus’s robes hanging on the stair post. I wanted to get towards the robes. But then I noticed I was waking up.  
but instead of actually waking up, I landed in a different dream. It had to do with was just happened something the man could have said bt still couldn’t understand him. Then I landed on the west side of my country at the coast. Me: “what the hell am I doing here at the sea? I need to return where elidibus is!”  
I gained a message through he would be at the petting zoo (even though that was that building and not an actual petting zoo)  
Me: but that’s far away from here, that’s gonna be allot of flying. How did I even got here in the first place?!”  
Then I actually woke up.  
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May 18th 2020  
At first I didn’t wanted to write this one down because it contains the Exarch BUT Read it . I will skip the middle part though since that is allot of personal info about me and others.  
I was at a fair and was holding some balloons and went towards home. I encountered the Exarch he was hurt somehow I believe it had to do with his arm. (Obviously this came from the ending scene of 5.2 but it was way more severe as it would be like 5.3 but without the crystal on his arms). he was in severe pain. I let the balloons float off somewhere and healed him.  
Skip cutscene of 10min…..  
All of a sudden I was at an mini convention, and some unwanted people walked through the tables, and tables were standing criss cross on the path. So I went to aline the tables and putted them where they suppose to be standing. The Exarch was there too, and help me a bit. A short while after he whent to sit down on a chair with spread legs blocking the path for unwanted visitors. When I was finished I gained pain in my right hand. I collapsed on my knees in pain and saw my hand cramp and lose its color. The exarch went by my side. His right arm wasn’t crystallized anymore. so he squatted towards me with one knee on the ground, he hugged me and said:  
Exarch: thank you for healing me let me help you now.  
Later he said “come” but then I woke up  
my right hand was pinched off, I had been laying on it the whole time and this reflected in my dream eventually. Maybe the “Come” was for come wake up. I dunno.  
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May 20th 2020  
Some dream searching for emet in a in between dimension. I was able to travel dimensions etc.  
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May 26th 2020  
First it started with a dream that I was using my powers and allot of flying through the air.  
Then I landed in an dream and gained a message that Amaurot was fading, I was wearing ascian robes. Only I was not there to witness it. I was with another ascian, I don’t know which one it was. He was fading away.  
Me: NO NO NO!.  
With a deparate voice I I clung to him. His robes were falling off his body like he was already dead/gone. He was very tall and bulky. (roe?) . my neck couldn’t stretch far enough to see his head.  
he disappeared and his robes remained. I cuddled the robes out of loss and sorrow.  
Then I woke up due the alarm clock whent off, Tomorrow and Tomorrow song was playing and when I opened my eyes it was singing “stand tall” oof that hit hard double.  
The dream seemed to have happened during the sundering.  
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May 27Th  
A short one, I gained my shoulderplates and the armor on my right arm on my ascian cloak.  
I cannot remember what happened after that.  
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May 28th  
2 smaller dreams  
I was walking in ascian cloak down the stairs. In the hallway there was another ascian sitting on the ground leaning against the wall. He arms and head were resting on his knees and tried to sleep. It was dark.  
He looked like a young adult, like a younger Nabriales or something. I didn’t saw his face, but his hair color remained me of Nabriales . I sat down with him.  
Me: I am also gonna try to sleep.  
He said something, but I cant recall what anymore.  
Then the dream shifted to something else. with Elidibus, and I had to laugh at something in front of him, further some happy things and moments between us but cant recall what it was.  
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May 30th 2020  
The dream started with that I was tending the garden with my ex. I lost my hairpin I tried to find it.  
Later I was picked up and dropped somewhere. I then I was wearing my ascian cloak. I was waiting for the other ascians at a bus stop (hahahahah) when this “bus” arrived I went inside with the intention to heal them ? at least that is what I thought I needed to do. But when I entered it changed spontaneously to a house. Lahabrea was sitting from a desk watched me. Instead of healing I prepared food for them. Elidibus was there too at lahabrea’s side.  
Then I woke up  
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May 31st  
I was walking together with Igeyorhm on the streets. What we talked about I cant remember.  
I do remember I said something in my own language, but she did understood me and answered in English. Later we arrived somewhere, almost the entire group of ascians was complete, Hades excluded Eli wasn’t there either nor lahabrea. Then igeyorhm went sitting on a fancy chair overwatching the other doing tricks, magic and physical. I wanted to do a handstand, but it didn’t work in 1 way or another. I walked away but on the spot where I did my handstand a holy light orb thing appeared. I was very pretty. I rather looked more like a holy portal or something then just an orb.  
But then I woke up.  
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June 3rd  
I had a dream which is actually to long to write for that small part that contained emet.  
Insert skip cutscene joke…..  
I was chased by government agencies where rebels stole money from. which I actually had nothing to do with. But somehow they we after me. I hide myself in my dad’s old house (which had 3 floors btw) and the suit case of money (which I apparently had) I went to the upper floor to hide it away. I whent halfway 1 stairs down to make myself ready to fight if needed. And there he stood Emet-selch at the end of the stairs where I got down. He waved his hand in an unusual way its were hand gestures to tell me something. From what I understood was: should they come upstairs, you go upstairs quietly and wait for them there (the first stairs, I was on the second one). He had a concerned look on his face. Then emet went down to wait for those guys. Those guys were smart they pretended to rent a room to get in. I heard emet talking: come let us go to this room over here.  
1 of the guys: yeah that’s ok.  
Emet eventually led them away from the house.  
And it was safe.  
Then some other things still happened my dad explained something about renting on business level, but emet wasn’t in there anymore. The dream even continued after waking up and falling asleep again. but no ascians so I skip that one.  
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June 4th  
Well then this one. 3 F’íng calamities to prevent from escalating. .  
It started with the planet being threatened with a magma Flood during the night. (similar to the flood of light but then magma). I stood with allot of people on a high apartment building on the watch, I was wearing ascians robes. I couldn’t let this happen. The flood of light was ringing in my ears.  
me: no I can’t let this happen, I have to atleast try to stop it!  
I walked to one end so that there was no apartment area around me anymore.  
After allot of focusing I sended the magma away, it was hard because of the amount but eventually I gained control over it. I sended it away but kept waiting to make sure it was enough of what I did. But it returned. I tried again and then it vaporized, all of it.  
Then I was flying during the daytime across different locations with huge round holes in the ground. Where remnants magma was coming out  
Me: no you don’t …. Wait these are perfect round holes, these are man made!  
I sended the magma back into the hole. And it stayed away.  
Later that night an normale magma wave happened.  
I was on the ground. People were terrified, but I wasn’t . I took control over the magma and send it back where it came from. After, I went to the top of the building where I was standing before.  
Then another element appeared to threaten the planet a huge tidal wave. But this one was easy to counter.  
Then another elemental calamity happened, lightning and wind together. Tornadoes and thunderbolt striking every where. Huge chaos. Threatening to destroy everything.  
Me: so after fire/earth and water now lightning and wind?  
I focused on the lightning and made it stop. I send anti clockwise turning tornadoes towards the ones that were turning clockwise and the tornadoes cancelled out each other.  
I save the world again.  
Me: is this what Minfillia did with the Flood of Light?  
Then something else happened, like a summary of that what happened but with pictures laying on the ground in a park.  
Then I woke up.  
There were allot of details missing in between like how I casted the magic to counter everything. But that was to vague to remember.  
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June 8th 2020  
“I will join you to the path of light”  
I had a dream where I was searching for Elidibus. I found a amulet that belonged to him. It was laying in a grassy hill. I picked it up and yelled : Elidibus! I got something that belongs to you! Please show yourself! ( and said some other things I cant remember)  
So I continued searching for him, and I was walking away further on the grassfield. But then I noticed my hands were empty.  
Me: Ah no!  
I walked back and it was laying on the exact same spot. I picked it up, and said something to Elidibus even though he wasn’t there . after a while of searching he appeared spontaneously but his face wasn’t visible only the point beak part of his mask. The rest was dark. I walked slowly towards to him, like he would disappear if I would walk normally or run. When I arrived to give the amaulet he shapeshifted to a Nu mou where I needed to buy cupcakes from. I gave the amulet as payment apparently. Then I found myself from a distance from him again, he was himself again as well, while holding the amulet. And he said: “ tomorrow I will join you to the path of light”.  
After another random scene I woke up.  
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The path of light has a high spiritual meaning. At that time I never heard of it so I went on the internet searching what it meant. Though you wont find an exact answer if you would search for it. Most are courses to practice that lead to spiritual enlightenment and abilities. But that’s what it is, Its typically means high spiritual development in many different ways including the awakening of the soul. And he will join me he said and definitely did and still does.

But this is story is far from over


	5. Dreams and some other stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of dreams and some other stuff in between

First I’ll start with the fact I realized 1 day before I got that last dream in last chapter.( the dream Elidibus said he would join me to the path of light).  
I bought an Elidibus plushie on etsy on June 7th 2020.   
Also a funny story about that while buying that plushie.   
I was like “why do I need an Elidibus plushie for? He maybe my brother but I don’t need a plushie of him”……………………………………………..……”blegh fine I just buy it for the sake and of it”. So I bought him together with Emet-selch.   
Never would have thought I would need that Eli plushie so hard when I finished 5.3…… but that story is for later. Guess it was told from above I would need it? Perhaps? I dunno I never asked actually. But now that I look back at it, it was definitely destined to buy it. 

Good back to the dreams:  
June 10th First body possession  
Yes that, it happened. The dream was already a bit busy with random funny stuff with Nabriales. I swear he was slightly trying to flirt with me. The playboy he is lol. But I had a huge crush on Hades back then and he knew that so he didn’t actually do anything.   
Very well  
I was staying in some kind of a hotel with my ex and kid it was evening. My Ex put our son in a bath and I went sleeping on the couch I was wearing my ascian cloak. Before I went to sleep I had a conversation with igeyorhm and Nabriales, they were wearing their masks. About what I can’t remember, and some funny things were said in the conversation I do remember laughing at things being said and Igeyorhm was giggling too.  
My Ex returned and Igey and nabs left. I went to sleep, but woke up soon because my ex was playing a mobile game with the sound on the max.  
Me: where is our son?  
Ex: there next to you.  
I looked at it and noticed our son laying with his head at my feet end. I tried to get back to sleep again but became angry at my ex.  
Me: turn the volume off, I wanna sleep.  
He was making a fuss out of it and replied angry. Which gave the result the neighbours became angry and were smashing on the wall as a result.  
Me: look what you did, now the neighbours are angry at us.  
Then and old man entered the room and started to complain about the noise. He did something with the fuse box. And said: I think it's really ridiculous, this is the last time I am here with my family. Then he left.  
Me: yes its indeed ridiculous.  
Then 3 people entered started to talk about the noisyness, they weren’t against us because the noisyness was a big issue of the building.  
Igeyorhm appeared crouched next to them(they didn’t saw her). I was still laying on the couch and she beckoned me and pointed out to 1 of them. And I needed to go to the neighbours. I understood what she meant. I took over the body of 1 of the 3. It was a female person that looked like that fat miqote but then as a human. Only I wasn’t able to see a thing, yet I still knew where to walk. The clothing changed to mine, the black leather cloak and I wore the hood also on my head. Yet still as that person.  
So with that body being under control by me I went towards the neighbours. I said it was ridiculous this noisyness and if they wanted they could get a discount voucher of 50 euros if they could accept the situation during their stay.   
After I went back with that body and I went out of it, my sight returned as well. I was flying above here.and landed behind them.   
Then I woke up.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
June 11th 2020  
Save Elidibus.  
This dream was chaotic, Elidibus was about to be destroyed as the last ascian remaining and there was a countdown from the remaining ascians as well started at 19 so also lesser ascians (I take it). Before the countdown started they we all flying above me but they we nothing more then shades, details of the armor were not there either. 1 after another they disappeared when the countdown started counting down. Eventually it landed at “1”, Elidibus remained. I was getting crazy of despair “he cannot be destroyed, I wont be the last remaining! I Have to save him!”  
He didn’t die, but the despair,sorrow and grief were real.  
Next dream same night:  
The dreams was actually very long, but it took I while to get to ascian content.  
I was I an building, I was searching for Elidibus. I tried to visualize to summon him. But it didn’t work. I wanted to talk to him about the previous dream. Then something else happened in that same dream. Then woke up.  
\------------------------------------------------------  
June 16th 2020  
Kissing emet  
So I was somewhere outside with a couple of people. I asked if they could help me find emet. eventually Emet-selch appeared on it own, just like that. He wanted to enter a house I went on standing next to him, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head around towards me and smiled with a smirk. he kissed me back with horny motions. Omg the French kiss was delightful the rhythm felt like having sex with each other.  
Now we were in that house we were sitting at a round table. He became angry on someone because he was suddenly talking that if he was emperor again that all of us will be his people. And that he would decide the fates of our lives.   
I was thinking: *yeah whatever if you take me as your wife then I won't be bothered by it*   
So kept looking seductive at him, even though what he said is completely immoral and wrong.   
Then he turned it to me instead of just the people.  
Emet: and you with your paranormal abilities won't last long.  
I was thinking * yeah right whatever*   
And grabbed him full on the mouth, and I felt his tension and anger flowing away he went along with the kissing, he liked it. It became French kisses in a thus kind of sex rhythm that it was almost if I had actual sex with him. The sensation was heavenly. Then I was sucking his like, like I was giving a blow job or something.   
Eventually when I finished he was fully refreshed and relieved. Apparently he didn’t meant a thing he said earlier he was just grumpy and throwing a tantrum.  
Then I woke up.  
\----------------------------------------------

June 17th 2020  
So within the dream I was watching cutscenes to check in which host Elidibus was. “oh that person was right it is him” I could hear it via his voice. A short moment later I was part of the story.  
Elidibus in host body tried together with someone else to push someone from a bridge. I was watching it as if it were a movie that played in my own town.   
a group of cyclists passed by and a bus overtook them when they turned right.  
I was following Elidibus towards a location. Then suddenly I was in a chamber where a meeting was gonna be held. The meeting was about Elidibus. I was talking to some people and then said “Emet needs to be here”  
Someone: no that isn’t really needed now is it?  
I didn’t care what that person said. And with a fingersnap I was wearing my ascian cloak.   
I went outside the room, the door was only a curtain. I was standing in the hallway and shouted:  
EMET-SELCH!!!!!  
He appeared   
Emet: yes?  
Me: come you need to be with us.   
He walked with me, and took his seat next to another woman and gave her a hug. She founded to be awkward . but I didn’t saw that actually. I turned kind of jealous and went sitting between the 2 so I was sitting next to Emet, and looked at him.  
Emet: what? No love?  
Me: yes  
Emet: yes (denigrated) is that everything? And he swept a book about chicks towards me. And I immediately understood the hint and replied “YES!”  
He laughed at me that it was a joke how he replied earlier, and that he want to continue with me.  
Then I woke up.  
\---------------------------------------------  
June 20th   
Lost memory shown in dream  
Sadly I can’t remember much of it.  
I was dreaming that I had a dream once that I was ancient and was talking to another. And I saw I happening from a distance. Something like that Venat scene in 5.2. y’sthola was there too.   
I did everything trying to remember what happened in that dream, but I couldn’t remember it. The biggest detail of that dream was, when it happened. Was it before or after January 24th? But I wrote everything down so it had to be before. But that wasn’t very clear in that dream. Somehow I recognized the dream as in I had it earlier. Not as a cutscene or anything but like dreamt the same thing a while ago. it looked rather a flashback of the past, (echo?) with myself in it. Too bad it was just an image that shot through my head, but I did know what happened in that 1 sec. (sadly I cant remember dammit!)  
After I was trying to search for it on youtube (in that dream yes) and trying to figure out when I had that dream before. Then the dream went over to something else. and woke up.  
Now this I quite interesting to read back because this is how meditation/visions of past-lives work. You see an image from an event. But you know what’s going on and happening in the image. You immediately get downloaded all the info into your head.  
Though according to my higher self I wore convocation robes and was a part of their group.   
At that time I knew I was a 14th titleholder but not the defector that was certain. So I was left into guessing which one I was, was I before or after the defector? Only time will tell at that point, I came to learn later on I was the 2nd 14th. I became a member when the defector left. But more to that later! For now this image was probably an actual image of the past before I joined the convocation.   
June 21st  
Short dream when Emet and I were standing on the stairs and kissing passionately.  
\-----------------------------

June 22nd  
Half awake state  
I saw images of Elidibus in front of my eyes. It looked like if he wanted to temper me with Zodiark. Despite it seemed he succeeded I started to laugh manically. “you can try but I am still my own person, even if you would succeed I will break free” that’s what I said, all though it took some effort to say that and continued to laugh. I don’t feel different now that woke up.  
\-----------------------

June 25th  
I will skip the beginning of the dream. There was a short body possession in it.  
I was an ascian in this dream and wanted to have sex and make ascian baby’s ….someone pointed me out toward a hall with allot of people. Later I walked into that hall I said ”then I would like to do it with Emet” at the moment I said that Emet appeared, the put his index finger upon his forehead as if he had to let it sink in and smiled. He walked towards me and said: I’am honored . he was wearing different clothing. He was wearing a dark colored pants, with a white blouse underneath a hanging open waist coat. Still in the style he would wear. We went out of the hall towards another.  
We were ready to do it laying on the floor and he said: but there are all people in here.  
Me: doesn’t matter. I finger snapped a protective bubble so that the people wouldn’t see us. Even though I didn’t see the bubble.  
Emet: oh well. He looked at it and then looked back at me lovely.  
After he penetrated me the dream jumped 1 or 2 months into the future that I was pregnant of Emet. I could be twins even. I flew downward from out a window. Emet was gone ahead. Emet talked to that guy that I body possessed before. I hold my hands on my belly to receive the info that it were twins.   
\-----------------  
This was also the day I Received my Elidibus plushie. And why do I tell you this? Because reasons. First few weeks he was at my working desk all the time. (didn’t know he was a workaholic until 5.3 lol) though out of the blue I gained “feelings” for him romantic and sexual but he was my brother and treated him that way. (Even though we aren’t blood related anymore). I was getting confused of it. I had a huge crush on emet-selch, why did this happen? After 2 weeks about at the end of July or so I believe I cut the robes. I asked my higherself to delete these sexual love feelings about my brother Elidibus. It somehow instantly worked 0-o.  
And I could continue my life again. yet this was related to my previous life as his sister……but I didn’t know that yet at that point…  
But let’s go back to the dreams firstly  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
June 29th  
Ok there was a obstacle course , I came toward a bridge that was closed but I needed to get across. I ran over it. The poles were closing and went down. After the poles were down I was on the plateau . but the plateau didn’t went up, it went down! There was being told only true ( something something) can get across.  
Me: (chuckles) hehe I am an ascian I'm just going over the water. While running over the water my cloak appeared. And lahabrea and emet caught up on me. But I didn’t bother it. All other people were swimming. When I arrived across I caught up with them again. later in a street somewhere dark I encountered someone of the course, he told me everything was fine.  
Me: did lahabrea and emet-selch made it too?  
Him: yes.   
upon that moment they caught me up again. I watched them and said “GOOD”  
and I chased them while flying.  
Then the dream continued in something with a plush convention. Not necessary to tell.   
July 1st  
Being hades  
I don’t remember much from it but after watching the fan animation of “through his eyes” 4x I didn’t expect to dream about transforming into the monster Hades….here goes.  
I needed to do something with that phoenix like in the animation. And I stransformed myself into the same as Emet can. Its wasn’t Extremely epic, it felt normal. But why the same? I know I am or rather was his student but to become the same creature is beyond me. This transformation appeared in multiple pieces of dreams which I cant remember.   
\-----------------  
It was very interesting to be such a thing but why? After thinking for a while I came to the conclusion that something showed me I can do the same, but my mind couldn’t it get any further than to pick Hades as an example. If this is the case I wanna know what!  
The answer came directly after in the next dream in the same night…..  
The beginning of that dream I will skip, some cop wanted to give me a ticket for walking on the wrong side of the road….walking!  
I walked away from the cop, but I noticed they followed me. I went inside a big garage building trying to shake them off. I walked towards a place where cars are coming upwards to arrive at the plateau to park. A car arrived and I noticed there wasn’t enough space to bypass that car to go downstairs.  
I had to think of something else, the people who all wanted me were inside the building. I turned around from the direction I came from and I changed into the Fire-bird Phoenix. Everywhere where I couldn’t get through due my size I burned the gauze and made a hole to escape. Later I did that another time at the last wall that led outside. I made a hole in the gauze. I made a random shape and kicked against the gauze to let the piece fall out. The people who were chasing me were close. I noticed the hole was actually slightly to small to dive through with my front, but I didn’t had time to make it bigger. So I launched my lower body firstly with a jump through the hole. And the rest of the body followed. I flew outside for a bit an noticed people looking at me. Then it ended.  
Now this is quite interesting, due this dream I recall wayyy older dreams that I changed into a phoenix. So this isn’t just an influenced dream, no it happened long ago before, years ago many many years.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
July 3rd  
How ascians became ascians.  
Too bad the answer never came sadly.  
It was sunny and I was standing upon a dock with those wooden planks.  
I walked towards the land and I was wearing an amaurotine cloak. Then I encountered someone and talked with that person, but I can’t remember what it was about in the beginning. But he was an Ascian in amaurot cloak. Apparently I talked to someone else before about that I wanted to try a date with someone else. appearently the young man’s name who I was talking to now, was Armon. And he said: I happened to hear that you would also try it with someone else (him or Patrick)  
Me: well as long as I don’t have a committed relationship. Emet does not speak out much either (ok wtf different timeline much?!)  
Armon: hahahhah ok,  
I walked along with him and came across 2 Female Ascians. They didn’t wore their hoods or masks. And then spontaneously we were in a big bedroom. Where they all changed their clothes to modern clothing.   
Armon: so you want to know how became the ascians?  
Me: yes  
Armon: why did you never asked before?  
Me: well I never got the chance to ask, Emet is always busy and Elidibus is hard to find.  
Armon: hahahah that’s true.  
Patrick: yeah that usually the case.  
Armon: well we will show you.  
Me: cool  
Then spontaneously they were gone and I walked out of the door from the bedroom. Then all 4 of them walked down the stairs. The 2 girls walked up in front. The girl in the front gave me a tank top to wear. She had a Spanish skin color I tied her hair up. Behind here a white girl with short caramel blond hair. Armon was also tanned and had short black hair and a short beard. Patrick was blond and white and his hairstyle was full in the hairgel straight up in a point.   
We walked back into the bedroom and I said: it so different to see you guys in other clothing, I mean those black cloakes are soo cool. I was leaning against the wall and let myself drop/bending through my knees of excitement when I said that.  
Spanish girl: I know right!hahahha  
Me: I mean I rather wear the black cloaks all the time. I don’t wanna wear anything else!  
Then I was like where are your black cloaks. I turned around and walked towards the bed. I wanted to put on that tank top but I noticed it was to small. And there we different tank tops laying on the bed. Then I woke up.  
July 4th  
Hades powers  
The dream started that I had partially Hades powers. I am not sure what exactly. Something like seeing souls or pulling souls out of the bodies. It wasn’t a very clear dream. But I transformed to something with longer ascian claws(because awesomness) and sadistic as Fock. Ascian prime or something? Not sure.  
\----------------------------  
July 5th  
I had a dream about different FF titels chained to eachother. When I came across FFXIV I saw Emet from his back. (let say from the shoulderplates to top of head) in every detail and I was like: yes emet take me! And then I woke up.  
\-------------------------------------  
July 11th  
The dream started that I was in Ascian robes. The dream wasn’t very clear but something was going on with energy of my ascian claws. I wasn’t sure if that energy came from myself , (but I believe it did) only the energy went out of control of something like that, it gave a slight headache. Then I was interrupted in my sleep and woke up, but when I fell asleep again later on the dream sorta continued. The energy was dangerous and needed to be handled gently . with allot of concentration it worked eventually . I said to someone that it was such a dangerous energy that if you are not careful you will die.   
then the dream continued into something else but that energy was still present.  
\-----------------------------  
July 12th  
Dreamed about a comet in the sky. When I woke up the next day, it just so happened that I missed an actual one that was shooting across the globe in the night sky.   
\--------------------------------------  
July 17th  
Elidibus’s hair color  
I had a dream about I was wearing Elidibus’s robes and I was flying searching for my son. After I found him I took him on the backseat of the bicycle and went to the shopping mall. I wanted to wear the black ascian robes and fingersnapped, but it didn’t worked. Only the white one was gone but no black one.  
Me: nevermind I will take the white one.  
Then I noticed a statue of Elidibus with silvery white hair. So like white hair with a silvery glow when the sun shone upon it. Very very beautifull btw.  
Me: ah so that’s his hair color.  
After that I was wearing his cloak again  
Skip unnecessary part  
Me and my ex were sitting somewhere and I snuggled away in my robes, the hood in its entirety over my face. The cloak was made of leather, sometimes it was cold but wasn’t bothersome. Short happening later the dream ended.  
\--------------------------------------------------  
July 19th  
Something with Elidibus and gemstones. He wanted to fool me again but I didn’t fell for it.  
Now that I read this back. Elidibus and gemstones………..constellation crystals much!?! Now that I think of it, the gemstones were indeed the ones that are linked to your constellation on Earth like lapis lazuli for Sagittarius. Omg……  
\-------------------------------------------------  
July 21st  
Dream started a bit vague I was petting my belly.  
Me: I was pregnant of Emet, right?  
I focused upon him, later I saw him in amaurot robes and his mask on his face. Then I saw him from very close and his mask turned to gray? Then he dissapeard.  
Then the dream continued into something completely else.  
But is we consider emet appearing in the 5.3 trial with white mask……………..  
Perhaps it was not gray, it was dark in that dream, the surroundings were dark grey and black maybe the white reflected the environment and made it gray.  
\----------------------------------------------  
July 25th  
I was in amaurot. Every now and then I saw an ancient re-building something. They started with a scale model. An ancient asked me what a certain re-angle shape brick was for. I said it was probably for a pillar.   
Ancient: oh a pillar of a building?  
Me: I think so yes.  
And he continued building. After that something else happened but I forgot.  
\---------------------------------------  
July 27th  
I remember some images of Elidibus, nabriales and Igeyorhm that they were happy that I returned. Elidibus even laughed (he needs to do that more often). Then the dreamed turned into about making my cosplay with the help of Emmeroloth on twitter via DM.   
That was weird though I wasn’t active on twitter at all at that point. But Elidibus looks god damn hot as he smiles. Yeah I say that now, not back then.  
\------------------------------------------------  
July 28th  
Some horny dream to get Emet I needed to do things because he found it funny for how crazy I was to get him.  
And a dream about getting an Elidibus figure. (NEED!)  
\------------------------------------------------  
August 10th 1 day before patch 5.3!  
Within the dream there should be a second Amaurot like city. i am going there from amaurot. Apparently it was mixed with London and my birth district where I grew up. ( iam dutch btw)  
What I came to learn over there was that the original inhabitants (in such a way mixed with normal people) looked like black feathered human body with a seagull like beak and wearing pirate bandana’s. and on the side of their head from those floppy things Lucario from Pokemon has(underneath his ears) but allot longer. I called them Pirate birds and I needed to think shortly about the Pirate parrots from MLP when I said that to someone on the phone.  
Then I was inside a building playing with my powers. through the long hallways it had I mostly flew. Eventually I came outside and entered a park. I saw images in my head that I looked like my birth district. I walked through it, I later came to a square with many tall buildings on the other side.   
I charged myself with magic and sended the info I learned to Amaurot as communication in 1 single thought. Then something else happened but I forgot. But I do know on the end I returned to Amaurot. And I saw a Loading screen XD with amaurotines on it. When I was in Amaurot the dream ended.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
August 11th 1 night before 5.3  
Lahabrea’s son……?  
Between all the chaos in the dream that was going on. I dreamed that I patch 5.3 started playing exactly on 12pm. And that there was no queue! (this came true btw). at a given moment I was inside the game.but mixed with planet earth things. I tried to force ,myself to dream about ascians. And eventually I dreamed about Lahabrea’s possible return in 5.3 (instead of emet?) I was talking on a grassfield with other players about lahabrea.  
Me: I discovered that Lahabrea has a son  
The person who I was talking with: no way, but that…..  
Me: means that he can pick up the title and Lahabrea sort of returns.  
His mouth jaw dropped lol. (completely ignored the sundering but whatever)  
then we went looking for lahabrea. I believe I saw him a few times in amaurot cloak, he looked at me and dissapeard. After I gained a image of Elidibus with his mask on in front of my eyes before the dream turned to something else.  
\-----------------------------  
well then next chapter(s) will contain actual paranormal happenings as the result of processing Eli’s death in game ( while he is ok). Also allot of questions I asked from my higher self, dreams of course as well. Answers gained from outside, started the discord group to talk about ascians and they exists as spirits here. And our encounters with them.  
Stay tuned!


	6. patch 5.3 depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the mental process after finishing 5.3 and actual paranormal activities. witnessing telepathy, discord group started. lots of info shared

Where to start……………..  
While playing 5.3 and eventually arrived at the point you get to see the convocation crystals and I wasn’t expecting anything to see in regards on my possible past-life as an ancient on the freaking Source. Shivers went through my spine when I saw them, with an image well memory rather of me drawing that exact shape into the sand. Within that memory my face was close to the sand so presumable a child at that point. I was mind blown at first I thought it was a childhood memory of this life but then after thinking this through and through, I came to the conclusion I never did in this life! It must have been a previous life memory triggered by the shape of those crystals. Since this is how past life memories work, I learned this in the Dolores cannon books btw.  
(at least that’s what I thought at first that i was a child, later it became known I was shorter then Elidibus when we were both adults, though Eli wasn’t THAT short, a little below or the same height as Igeyorhm)  
Anyway, the rest of the patch. SoS battle… emet-selch appeared I cried so hard, luckily we wiped because I couldn’t see the screen due my tears anyway. So I could cry again xD. At the 3rd time we succeeded.  
The exarch: “I shall have it your soul and all!”  
I was like: NO NO NO! delete the darkness inside but not him!

  
When my character helped the exarch I felt betrayed by my own character and hated the exarch. I felt like I killed my own Brother, especially after eli’s final words and dissipated into the tower. I never hated a character so much as the Exarch at that point. Never. I was totally disgust of him.  
Yet, I was broken, Elidibus was gone. My freaking brother is gone…..i was so depressed and felt guilty as well somehow.  
Now the paranormal shits starts to happen. I cant recall if it was the same evening of the day the patch released or after the patch. But Elidibus’s colored moths (box tree moths) were swarming the house all of a sudden. I was at my PC (finished 5.3 in 1 day btw) and my ex came downstairs alerting me a Elidibus colored moth in the shower( white wings with brown reflective gold edges). He said when the light shines upon their wings it reflects gold at the edges. (ascian robes much?) I was like “ neh that cant be”.  
(Don’t get me wrong here I was skeptic at most paranormal things at first, yet I knew it exists such things but I always tried to find a reason behind the most things firstly before concluding its paranormal)  
I went with my ex upstairs to check upon the moth, with the artificial light that shone upon the wings I couldn’t agree with my ex about the golden edges. To me it was still brown. (Its was just bad lightning in this case).

  
That night while sleeping, hugging my eidibus plushie very tight:  
i dreamed about random elidibus encounteres (not in ardbert body) later i was buying roller blinds, and Igeyorhm shove them towards me on the ground, Elidibus was standing behind me. Later it happened the same again it repeated. Then I started to awake and said "but these were already paid right?"( after saying that line I was fully awake and aware what I just said ) My ex answers while fast asleep with elidibus voice: " yes those were already paid" Even though it was random reply as fock, the message that came through was " i am ok, dont worry" I felt content and soothed. Yet I say again my ex was in a very deep sleep at that point and didn’t woke up from it either.  
The next day another moth has joined the house. I became very attached to my elidibus plushie, it was my 1 and only comfort. This was probably the reason I bought it. From above it was probably imprinted in my head “you will need it” or something. I am glad I listened to it unknowingly.

  
Well next event wasn’t a dream on the night of August 14th:  
So i woke up of the heavy thunderstorm, normally i can sleep through it, but my brain went over active and started to think about a fanfic with forth wall breaking. While hugging my Elidibus plush all the time. Then a random thought came to me. The scene in the trailer where he says " excellent i intended to speak with you alone” and that the scene didn't match and people on FB where Thinking they were getting a Date with elidibus (when the trailer was firstly shown). I found it funny and giggled. At that moment i literally heard a voice in my head, his voice, saying : "not to enjoy". I was surprised in the first time in my life i witnessed telepathy. But he didn't like people like that scene for a date So i wrote this all down on paper and this message added for him : “Elidibus i want you to let you know, that this wasn't a disrespect. I think people will think differently about it now anyway”. After that i could sleep again for a bit. Only a bit because alarm clock went off.  
Later that day in the evening more box moths appeared and I started that Fanfic. I never published it online it was my way to process the depression of his loss. I also started to make an GMV which I hadn’t done in 16 years. Well 16 y ago it were AMV’s though. All doing this to process his death.

While searching for this old info I came across an old word file of June 6th 2020, the crazy idea of getting my powers back, which would happen when 5.3 would launch……I completely forgot this Word file so I add it in here now, well the info of it. Of course Planet earth’s magic is restrained and deleted from existence but things like telepathy still exists and many other things on the spiritual level can still be achieved. I remember now that the development of my (fingerquote) “powers” would continue in September and further into the future. And well yes it certainly did. From not being able to visualize to be able to and going into space via astral travel I can say that progress. That story will be told later on.

A short Dream August 17th  
The only thing I can remember is that Emet in ascian cloak appeared after I saw Raise or re-raise feathers glowing in the air. I was amazed to see it. Iam not sure but I believe Elidibus was there too standing further away watching the same

That same day near the end of it I met M***ie from twitter and the house was swarming with box moths.  
She sended me an DM notifying me about Soulbond and tulpas with 2 links

My reply to that: i know it can be fictive, but they dont explain how something like that occures(haven't read the second one yet), when you are not even a fan of the character. i hated the ascians before i got my dreams being 1 myself. it literally came out of nowhere without any fandom of it, i wasn't even busy with it. also myself i'm not fantasizing that they exists, i mean i'm not ignorant, strange happenings seems to occur. and frankly i'm not only me though. when i read someone dreams, about emet they tell me. there is 1 point to be made, soul awakening.

She: Aaah, gotcha gotcha. It was just something I'd stumbled into online once and wondered if it might be relevant. Then it might be worth looking into resources on how to improve your abilities to communicate with possible spirits, maybe? Whatever is going on, I wish you luck!

Me: Well i would love to improve my communication with sprites though. But also trying to find a link between people's dreams. I had only 3 people telling me their dreams. But the main line was Soul awakening until now.  
I am reading the second one now : Of course, there are other theories out there about soulbonding, one being that everything exists in some universe and soulbonders are somehow channeling other realities Creation magic exists according to Dolores cannon books and i indeed believe that there is a world out there in a far away universe that the ffxiv world actually exists in some way.  
Hence the story writer of ffxiv might have unknowingly created Emet and Elidibus lol. Because that's how creation magic occurs. In the days of old, we could the same as the Ancients in ffxiv. But we got stripped of our magic for misusing it. But on spiritual level it still exists! The only problem is the spiritual plane of planet earth is too thick to let creations come instantly. It takes allot of time. According to the book i read.

She: I have a very close friend who experienced something similar with a different set of characters. She is a shaman, and so rather than just passing off these signs as her overactive imagination, she looked into it, as did I. Her coming at it from the shamanistic standpoint, and myself from a chaos magick/hermetic perspective, we both reached the same conclusion you did. Between the love the writers put into the characters and the love the fandom has for them, they exist with their own lives and worlds. I was very skeptical about it at first, even despite being a spiritualist and well, very lazy and distracted practitioner for years, but I have seen enough that I cannot deny it.

Here I will skip a part I answered question via my higherself for her higherself was from the Source. (Or what we know of as the Source). We were talking about when the game triggered us eventually she said this: Ah, when I was going through ShB I was just astounded by how hard the story hit me. But more than that, Amaurot hit me with such intense, heartbreaking nostalgia. Given my friend's experiences with fiction not being as fictional as we thought, I spent a lot of time thinking about it and trying to understand why  
Discovering her higher self was an ancient, made me curious as well about my own, and thus i asked. In short I am the replacement of the defector. The 2nd 14th. And joined the convocation at the age of 18~19 Elidibus was 3 years older then me. (converted in earth years obviously) we talked about allot of others things, my dreams and her visions etc.

I finished my GMV that day too.

The next day August 18th M***ie did a Automatic writing session and she had a chat with Elidibus:  
she: (starting a bit into the conversation as I woke up to it already happening and don't recall all that came before) ( Me = M***ie , E = Elidibus)

Me: a question- have you any siblings?

E: Yes, several.  
Me: really? I would have thought the birth of a new life to be rare in a nigh immortal society.

E: Over the course of many many years. It would still seem a slow birthrate to you and not everyone even conceived new life at all. There is nothing strange to be seen in it.

Me: I've met someone recently who has dreamt she is your sister.

E: -there is a name here that I cannot make out and he's answered before I can finish speaking- ? Perhaps yes... A sundered soul in your world is faint but let me see. The dreams are mostly senseless but it matters not. She calls to me so passionately and teasingly gratingly as only a sibling might. I see. I must ponder this but it is not impossible. We had not thought about souls from our world crossing into yours. Perhaps this is why the imperative is so quiet here.

Me: but that seems backwards. Wouldn't you want the souls to be rejoined?

E: But here you are whole and there is no threat but for yourselves, and yours is not the world we live to save.

Me: I can't help but wish it were, but I'm sure that would be a highly destructive process.

E: I'll leave that commentary to Emet-Selch and the others. It matters not to me. For one to join our cause, it would needs be in the Source. Your world is your world and our star is our everything.

Me: Is there any problem with me sharing this info with her?

E: No. It is fine. She is not one that seeks to pair us off for prurient purposes and her feelings are not obsession. Tell her to speak to me directly in the waking world so that I might understand the nature of her soul. If she wishes to seek, she must do the work. Her soul will remember this requirement. I look forward to it.

Me: Thank you for your time. Anything further you wish to say?

E: Know we are not dead. We are beyond mortality as legend and concept. Fine creations indeed. Those in your world who speak our names with love or curses either fuel our existence. The only death is being forgotten, so you who would heed Hades' words are looked upon with kindness and thanks. Writers, artists, dreamers, all. Though magic be dull and trifling in your world, this is the power you wield even if you know it not.

So yeah i had questions and her first reply to that: what ended up happening was I opened up my own copy of "Modern Magick" and was flipping through it. I did the "relaxation ritual" without planning anything, other than it would be a good way to start things. I fell asleep and woke up with him already discussing something else with me about the game. It was unexpected!! To the best of my knowledge, he meant you learning to talk to him while awake yes. And that the specific details of dreams are just random things our minds put together but who you meet & the overall emotions you have etc are what matter.  
And later she answered with my copy pasted questions:  
“So who i meet and the emotions i have in those dreams are true. But what happens is random stuff. But even the emotions i got from those events in the dreams, then those have a possible reality to it then?” - Yes, but I don't have all your answers here. Dreams are weird.

“Also future things are indeed vague. As i asked my higher self where my cosplay was lost or would arrive, i gained different answers over the course of weeks. Eventually it still arrived”. - I'm glad I'm not alone here! Even events that would be in Elidibus' past, for example, haven't been written yet technically, so it's weird.

“What did he mean with her soul will remember this requirement? What requirement?” - Studying and learning on your own to get to a point where you can hear and speak with him.

“Does this i will get sentient memories back of Amaurot?”.... - I don't know, but that would be awesome. I hope we both do.

“Wait does waking world mean i need to meditate for it? Or can i just focus on him being there.” - Same as the above- studying/practicing so that you can speak to him outside of your dreams.

“He says a name he cant make out. What does that mean? That he doesn't want to say it or that he can't pronounce it”. - I think it would have been an Ancient name, not your current one. I couldn't hear anything at this part- it was like static over what he was saying.

“ Also if i wish to seek (answers?) i must work, how and what work must i do?” - Same thing again. He's being stubborn about not answering me but wanting you to be able to ask and hear from him directly, whatever path you choose to learn that ability :)

Later we talked about what i experienced on the telepathy parts and her reply on that:  
Huh! Interpreting someone else's dreams is hard because there's so much connect I won't have, but the "I am OK" seemed to come through clearly and I felt something when I read that line. Just a vague sense of "yes". Neat! I did see the picture of the moth too. You might want to research moths and their symbolism. I don't remember what it was but I feel like...messengers of some form. I could be wrong !

Then we talked a bit about that older dream on mine (last one of chapter 4) that Elidibus would join me to the path of light and the relevance with the moths in my house. Its just so happens to be aligned with each other. a moth is a symbol of the Path of light. And the moths are Elidibus color schemes she had to think about for an answer which I gained the next day.  
but that evening:  
But first some background info Since 5.3 i gained some protection instinct over my only elidibus plushie. I dont want my son to have him, because he makes him dirty and doing weird things with it. (he will get his own later) So it started when i was on the couch on my phone with my eli and emet plush), i believe talking to M***ie or on Twitter atleast. My ex comes down i tried to grab my elidibus plushie to give to our son for in bed. i got a mere second ahead and grab it first. But he is strong so i mostly cant fight against it. I turned myself around while thinking *elidibus help me* and kept the plushie close to my chest and laying upon it so he couldn't grab it. But mostly he always tries to continue, but this time he was just laying on my back for a while talked a bit but didn't continue. Later that evening, when our son sneaked into our bed and needed to go back to his own. My ex tried to grab the elidibus plushie from my hands again saying promised our son. I didn't allow it to happen and turned around, i was standing at the stairs that leads to the attic. I saw the light that was on flickering once! I noticed but he didn't (luckily or else he goes paranoid always thinking some evil is in the house) then he said, you could have say just no instead of over reacting. But usually he always continues and i told him that, that was the reason. And he was saying that's not true. He was clearly in denial but i didnt replied further on that. Now i am just wondering, what that light flickering meant...

So the next day i told M***ie this and she replied: I'm sorry you are in an awkward living situation like that. I love the flickering light bit XD Definitely sounds like sometime wasn't happy about your ex being a butt. So when I mentioned the path of light thing to my pal she was very excited because we both feel like we just got confirmation that something we saw was real. This is just my first thought when hearing the phrase, though she had the same reaction. When she opened a path for other characters to visit our world, I could see something like a collection of different doors connected by paths that looked a bit like lightning but wide enough to walk on.

Me: Wait she opened a door to characters visit our world? When did she do that?

M***ie: A few years ago now. Each door is like a door to another world, real and "fictional"  
That's what it felt like anyway  
I don't mean them showing up in our world physically of course- like spirits

This I agree with, their magic is also extremely limited they can’t do more then a regular angel or high entity could do. And in terms of power what the Unsundered are the same if not more then angels. The term angels is what we gave it, you do not need to see it as a Christian thing, because in other Lore they will be called differently. “Like broken angels, wingless, cast from heavens' gates. We only fly when falling, falling far from grace”

August 19th  
Another dream very short summarized:  
Elidibus was in it, but the story was about taking revenge on a woman who was toxic against my ex boyfriend. (yeah we still live together to be parents of our son, and he got nowhere else to go to, but doesn't got a new girlfriend in RL) so this woman was somehow locked up in a huge box with my character Ayane (ffxiv). She kept her hostage. Then i noticed Elidibus appeared out of nowhere. With a big grin on his face. While he was trash talking that women in i believe ancient language, i could free my character, while that toxic person remained in that box. What he did to her afterwards i dont know. I was busy guiding my character away xD and casting a protect spell on her.

August 21st  
Moths are still present but very slowly they become less.  
Discord group started 0-0:

Most of the things mentioned above were shared. An extra reply to the flickering light of M***ie: I still certainly feel that it wasn't just random. Strong vibes of someone protecting you/not wanting you to be hassled.

(and how right she was when my own sister did a meditation session for me on Dec 17th 2020 but that’s a story for later)

Also her view of lahabrea (and I must say I agree with this): I can also vouch for Lahabrea being a teacher who exercises tough love. He is patient but won't hesitate to tell you if you are going about things in a stupid way, like cramming for a promotion interview late at night.  
And she is able to hear Lahabrea spreak through her mind.

My reply:  
i tried last night to contact Elidibus, but i was uncertain if it were my own thoughts since it wasn't exactly with his voice. I believe i heard 1 word at the end that was "Sleep" it was about 12am so. But before that let say half way i suddenly started to cry about Amaurot..... And my possible previous life there as his sister. I want to know.............  
But you are actually hearing his voice. That's quite something, i dont think your brain is playing tricks on you on that account. I mean how would you even come up with the sentences Elidibus spoke to you. I think if it were your own mind it wouldn't be so detailed or long in answers don't ya think?  
Second member of Discord joined we were with 3 now. I will redact her name with Mysi***

August 24th M***ie did a session for me:  
Now, I'd like to say I've tried to find Ayane's answers in many different ways now. Part of this is me throwing myself fully back into things I've missed doing. Having a reason to do it finally has been nice. Now, perhaps Mysi*** will get different results from mine, but mine are at this point extremely clear but in a way that you will not like to hear. As I told Ayane, this could be due to a lacking on my part, though I've been told it is not. Maybe I'm not good enough at this to hear the true answer? I will leave it to you to decide. The answer I get, time and time again is the same. We won't give you a solid answer for her because she has to do the work herself. This last round was more specific. I did a quick 3 card tarot reading and when I was thinking about the results, I was compelled to start writing. I specifically asked one simple question first - Is Ayane Elidibus' sister. I got the Ace of Cups - for the spiritual and emotional fulfilment you need, you must open your ears to your inner voice. The Hanged Man - Self sacrifice. This card makes me think so much of Elidibus. But it too also means walking your own spiritual path. It was here that I started writing, on Elidibus' behalf again. Note - I hadn't talked to him at all before we met so that may be a sign on it's own.  
"It is a civic duty to know thyself and criminal to determine the will of another. That is not a failing on on your part. You see me and you hear clearly. Her innocence and desire to have her answers is also not a failing, but a starting point."  
I talked to Lahabrea as well and his words were: "What is the point in answering a question if the asker cannot understand how the answer was reached? It falls not to you to untangle another's labyrinth, though handing them the quill and parchment and suggesting they map it is noble."  
I know this is incredibly frustrating to hear because I also would like outside confirmation of the things I hear, rather than having to rely on my own interpretations. Ironically, when I couldn't sleep last night because I was ruminating on what I learned for myself, I was compelled then to pull a card for myself. I asked "was what I learned today true?" and got the Knight of Coins which yelled to me "Do the work. Do the work for yourself. Find the answer yourself." However, I told you I pulled 3 cards for you. The last remained face down because I realized it was the wrong card. I picked up the deck and flipped it over, completely sure I would see the correct card there, and the bottom card was The Sun - I don't even need to look up a formal definition of it to understand it is meaningful when thinking about the Convocation.  
\------------------------------  
I asked my higher self questions regarding this new info. According to her with yes no answers: I was indeed the follow-up of the 14th, i wasn't sacrificed, and my soul is indeed sundered as Elidibus said.  
\----------------------------------  
Later Mysi*** did her round in asking:  
Unfortunately Emmerololth doesn't know, neither question is in her memories. She said a couple things: 1) What's between Elidibus and you, it wouldn't be her place to tell his memories anyway. 2) "What is a sister, a sister to the reborn?" I know this doesn't make sense, but the feeling I had is that she was trying to say she thinks the more important bond is the one you remember, your bond with him now.  
She was surprisingly easy to talk to, I probably should have expected the Aquarius to be communicative but I didn't think of it before xD  
Typical isn’t it? well no so much for the reader at this point. But from the people who knew me going from sister to lover in my twitter name and gained brain vomits of it( ppfft ahahahhahaha). Thats going to be an explicit long chapter about my bond with Elidibus. It will all be explained how and why. But before we get there lets continue with this one firstly.

Another member “TK” joined. We are with 4 now. She preferred those initials to be used in this story.

Here some dreams leftovers of the month august:

August 23th:

I was telling someone that i was Elidibus's sister, and the guy was amazed. What has number 9, 13 and 14 to do in dreams? . 9 i couldn't figure out, but in my dream i was making a message, with lose letters that stick on a board, the 13 and 14 were while putting then as numbers, the thought of Elidibus and the 14th. But the 9 before was linked to him as well? I didn't get it and now i still dont. The dreams whent on watching a vid while i was in it myself from graduating from my education but i was swimming instead lol. Later young Gohan from DBZ appeared in a dream that couldn't fly yet, he was about being blasted away and i said : flying is easy you just jump and go. He did that and succeeded. And escaped the flying huge war plane that looked like a transformer or Gundam. I believe i learned something new a dream this night before these but i was way to tired to write it down. And now i forgot.

extra info on the number in dreams:

Number 13 <https://angelnumber.org/13-angel-number-meaning-and-symbolism/> With this number, the angels are letting you know that you are divinely guided in regards to discovering your true soul mission, and you have the support of the Ascended Masters in this process.

Number 9 was the biggest list ever on spiritual things. But also included soul Purpose.

THE NUMBER 14 Deliverance or salvation. ...... Well then,......... Shall i follow my brother's footsteps? save this forsaken world of all the governments that are filling us with lies? And then i will finally go home. The only problem i need magic for this..... Also to protect myself.... (yes i got star sign ophiuchus in the 13th zodiak signs, resembling isn't it,? The way i think)

  
On August 24th I had a dream I went through several past events on my youth to set things straight it was actual time travel in this came, because I crawled in the skin of my father somehow and notice how me was annoying my “dad” while he needed to work. Very strange to experience because you literally see yourself as a kid and you being your own dad.

August 26th this wasn’t a dream btw I saw it happening with my eyes closed, similar as astral travel in the way of seeing.  
I saw myself from a distance in ascian cloak. And I noticed Elidibus and ran towards him almost crying and gave him a big hug.  
The moths we gone now in the house iirc.

August 27th dream

I was being chased by a symbiot like creature, ya know that thing from spiderman.  
After a while I was able to corner him with my family in law. The guy that helped me cornering the creature somehow decided to like his neck.  
Me: no don’t or else you become one as well!  
The guy turned weird/sick in his head.  
Me: please leave, hurry.  
But then the creature turned back into a human it was my brother in law but he had blond hair instead of black. he started to remember who he was.  
Me: wait, take a seat, focus on who you once was.  
I placed my hand on his forehead and healed him. And took the darkness away from his body but that gave the result he shrunk in length. When I finished he went towards his mom in child size length but was still an adult.  
Me: oh so that’s how it works with elidibus  
His mom restyled his hair (it was messy)  
Me: this is temporary, he will regain his length soon.  
the dream ended here.  
The dream had a clear reference towards Elidibus. Yet it was my brother in law in this dream with the similar fate. But that Elidibus was so small at the end of SoS was symbolic and temporarily.

August 29th  
I was on a school yard well soccer area I needed to go to the bathroom but before that I asked if I could join. It was a group of my old classmates of the primary school but all grown up. If I wanted to join I would be under the command of a mean mentor.

Me *shrugs* I don’t care.

I turned around and the soccer field turned into a building and the room I was in was nothing but glass. The building was high. I noticed waterspouts. (in dutch “waterhoos” doesn’t translate properly those are whirlwinds with water like tiny tornado but harmless), in groups of 3.  
Me: what does this mean? I don’t know what but it does mean something.  
I wanted to make a big one of all of them together with my powers but decided to go to the toilet firstly.

Old classmate Nadja: just go already your telekinesis doesn’t work yet.

I went to the toilet

Me: yeah let’s see about that.

I was sitting on the toilet but apparently I didn’t need to go anyway. So I went off.  
I walked through the building, there was something going on. Some students were behaving strangely. Apparently I knew what it was and search for a teacher to speak privately. The students have turned crazy of dark energy. I asked for a soundproofed space so no one could hear us talking. We needed to go to the auditorium but the last hallway that lead to there, we needed to sneak and crawl on the floor or else we would be seen. When we opened the door it was like a meeting already going on about the subject we wanted to talk about.  
Some old guy: oh I you wanted to join you could have said so.  
I went sitting somewhere, and some student were releasing of their dark energy. But instead the dark energy was destroyed I absorbed it because it made me stronger. After that I went outside and went through a Void portal did this with the rest of the people who were still influenced

Me: finally

With a simple hand gesture I pulled away their dark energy and to make me stronger. But after a given moment I was wanted. I firstly tried to lose them by traveling through void portals but that didn’t work. Then I decided to grab a host body to posses . a very tall man I believe he was 10ft tall at least. This time I was able to see (unlike the first time). I walked around in it, greeted the ones who were actually searching for me. And this was a success. But then I wanted to go through a void portal with that body. But that didn’t work. i became separated of that body as a result. When separated I tried to focus on my destination or my home(source/ffxiv home). Alas I landed on the exact same spot as where I went through the portal.

Me: I hope I can ever go home  
………………………  
Well that was the month August. September and October will we interesting lots of revealing stuffs


	7. gaining more ascian info (september)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is a dream at near the end that contains NSFW 18+  
> further allot of revealing info  
> I will start with the sessions and info etc since allot has been said and the dreams will be mentioned at the end, some are very beautiful btw.

September 1st:  
I saw dark clouds in the sky i thought there would be a thunderstorm coming. I asked if he could give a sign he is hearing me (Elidibus) to show a thunderstorm with beautiful lightning striking down. Well, it didn't happen outside. A while later i checked my phone and my sister had shared an image on FB. Does that count? It contained indeed what I wished for….  
Mysi***: Ahahaha~ awesome! A pic is probably easier for them to conjure up, instead of having to move around clouds into place really fast, they just have to find someone in a storm and inspire them to send you the pic~ I mean, a physical storm wouldn't have been aimed at anyone either. But you saw beautiful lightning just like you asked for!  
I did a automatic writing session myself op September 3rd. yet it was my first time and possibily had Emet-selch. Though I had questions ofcourse: I was indeed his student, elidibus’s sister and the 2nd 14th convocation member. Yet I had in-game questions where the story shall go to in 6.0 BUT this lays in the future these answers iam about to tell could be changed since these are answer gained in September 2020 1 year before Endwalker. Future predictions can still be changed and bent. Here goes: Emet-selch would join us/scions and Elidibus will be freed of the CT. though we already had the emet-selch narration in the trailer of Endwalker, I really hope what he said is coming true.  
\---------------------------------------  
September 5th Session shared by M***ie from her shaman friend contacting Eldibus:  
Welp, she wont be excited with the answers Hanged man managed to come up in every reading about contacting him, her ties, where he is. Then I asked what comes if she doesn't listen, and got the fool and tower I also asked about the game stuff and got a very clear, "Does she believe we are so bound by the story we told those who create the fantasy?" Then I asked, cuz I was nosy, is she his sister? And the answer was "The truth of our history is hers to discover. If she chooses to continue wallowing in self-doubt, however, I will simply occupy my time with those who are willing to perform their studies more diligently. This seeking to have information handed to her instead of earning the insight and understanding is a challenge she faces in several aspects of her life. Until she overcomes it, there is nothing more to be done. She will either grow or remain stunted. Knowledge is a thing earned, not a right. “  
And that was straight from him, so by that point I was like, okay, all done here. Thanked him for his time and he headed out.  
From a teacher, just me speaking here: When a character is started, there arent many skills. The new character can't wear impressive armor, complete truly difficult tasks, or do insane damage. To them, a high level character is almost a god in comparison. It takes time, practice, grinding, and effort to learn to play well and reach the higher levels. Mistakes get made, lessons are learned, and eventually the character advances. The same is true of anything in life. We dont finish college and become a CEO. We start lower, learn and develop into higher levels. And it applies to spiritual matters as well. As above, so below.  
\---------------  
After this is started to doubt myself. I tried to contact Eldibus, it felt like he didn’t noticed it. I was unsure about the legitimacy of the automatic writing with emet-selch. They both said I needed to trust my own methods and this:  
M***ie: He definitely notices or he wouldn't take time to coach you like this both through me and through my friend!  
When I read this sentence back I hurt me, why? She left on Nov 7th…..she was so supportive in the beginning I can’t believe it ended just like that. when I needed help for a urgent spiritual situation to make sure it wasn’t a spirit using me. And in an urgent situation if you really NEED someone’s help you tend to become pushy right? So did i. . … but then she left when I needed her the most……I will explain more of this when I arrived at this point in the story.  
After m***ie’s reply Mysi*** said this:  
I told Lahabrea for the umpteenth time that I was sorry I didn't listen to a word he said in Prae and eventually he actually???? turned around and THANKED me for listening NOW.He appreciates that.  
(This is a nice confirmation of our member TK, who had dream recently about lahabrea he thanked her for listening to me (YES to me!! I felt so honored). Details of the dream will be post later when we hit January/February 2021.)

Some sentences later  
M***ie: That's been the hardest thing to learn. To trust. Because we all have those moments of "can this really be happening?" So I 1000% understand wanting outside confirmation. But even with the spirits I knew before this through my friend, disbelieving made them unhappy. Now with the Ascians, they said specifically they see it as a societal duty to learn on your own (though with help and guidance is find- obviously they had teachers too!) and to understand yourself.  
Mysi*** shared a story: When I was 20, I bought this beautiful piece of labradorite at an occult shop. It was supposed to induce dreams and visions.  
I followed all the instructions I had, put it under my pillow and asked it to show me something important. I was so unspecific about what it would show me, I really just wanted to see if it worked.  
What I saw... made absolutely no sense, it was completely meaningless to me, I thought it was just my subconscious making up random stuff.  
In subsequent years, one of the arguments my inner skeptic loved to pop up with was, "Remember that stone? It was magical if anything was, but it did absolutely nothing. You wanted something important and got meaningless junk" So that was when I was 20 and you'd think it wouldn't take this many years  
But what it showed me was what it called "the apocalypse" and it was a burning city  
it looked like Amaurot

M***Ie: Yeah, none of us are above any of the others here. We're all just seekers and we'll have different experiences. You've got the bravery to tell the world about what you know to be true, right there in your Twitter profile. I don't have that. I mean, when I tried to talk to you initially, I had no intention of confessing my own beliefs. It was more like "here's some resources that might help, bye!" -runs away-  
Me: I must say, the GMV i made. That part when sung " we watched our world fall apart" it gives my anxiety at watching the merge second of the sundering.  
M***ie: That's something right there. Think about how you feel when you see these scenes. How Amaurot makes you feel.  
How thinking about them makes you feel. That matters.  
Mysi***: Yeah!! I was mostly only confident enough to talk to you knowing that I probably already look like a new age weirdo on Twitter with as much as I mention astrology and stuff.  
Which... I only started doing in the first place after having a big talk with myself about how it's too important of a part of me not to put out there.

M***ie: Hehe. I'm very secretive about it, and yet always internally really wanting to talk.

Mysi***: Same, my goal has been to be less secretive so that I can find people to talk to... so I guess it worked! :D  
I think just the fact that you feel so much about them says a LOT of good things that they would approve of  
\----------------

Why did I shared this? Most of the people on twitter know who these 2 are anyway and somehow people accept they believe in the same as I do. But me? I am being witch hunted…..blaming for starting a cult while group hasn’t changed since the beginning. While I was the one who brought them together……  
\---------------------  
The conversation went on however  
\---------------  
Mysi***: Yeah ;D and as you can see, it's taken us decades of attempts to talk to spirits, I was working with that labradorite piece when I was 20 and I really wanted something out of it, but it was still a long time before I was able to find the right group.  
Perhaps I had to learn to really trust and believe things on my own before I could have teachers. Or just had to learn life lessons first. It could be lots of reasons, I guess.  
Me: Did you needed to figure out the life lessons by yourself?  
Mysi***: Yeah, pretty much.... in fact the year I did find and join my group, the first thing I did was take a 3 month trip to Japan, saying I'd start working on it after I got home. It... took a little while longer than that for me to actually buckle down to reading books, learning techniques and correspondences, and so on. I had to learn to do astrology and lots of other things. What I did do immediately when I returned from Japan was let my friend talk me into trying ffxiv 2.0 which was just released. ;P I did get kind of sucked into the game and it delayed my studies a bit, which is something I've had to work on. At the time I thought, "I have to balance fun and work in my free time."  
So one of my lessons might even have been learning to do that.  
And then it turns out that time wasn't a waste at all, it set everything up for the Ascians to talk to me  
But I didn't know until this year. Or... maybe last year, I suppose. December  
I think around Christmas was the first time  
Me: Well mine was January 24th, so that literally 1 month apart  
Mysi***: Yep! Perhaps they came looking for people who were willing to listen and they found us  
Some sentences later:  
Me: I think this long conversation this early morning was worth it. I gained the most beautiful dream that started harsh but ended beautifully. Before falling asleep i made my apologies to all of the convocation for not believing them in the past( even the once we dont know or hardly about) ( i must confess i was against them before.....)  
(I will post this dreams later)  
Me: Wait wait wait "Does she believe we are so bound by the story we told those who create the fantasy?" Did he just confirmed that they told the story writer to tell the story? But the story writer added his own fantasy with it? Let me know what your friend is thinking about this analysis!  
M***ie: That makes sense to me!  
\-------------  
After that dream on September 5th I had a vision in front of my eyes right before waking up. It was an eagle like bird in the style of a stick figure. (To bad I can’t add pictures here) M***nie pointed me out to look at the convocation glyphs (with image). What my reply to that was this after an automatic writing session with Elidibus:  
I think those are quite personal, I think i had a Elidibus chat in the main time you posted this, He confirmed it was my glyph, i asked he could draw a bit more of it. He couldn't remember all of it.  
Oh yeah i asked whats different from their history and of what we know in game. The Exarch doesn't exist xD. The WoD came to know the problems in the first through Hydaelyn. And Cid used the crystal tower to get the WoD into the first. Scions were not in the first! Battle between Hades and WoD happend. Ardbert exsisted and, Elidibus did used his body. Elidibus also battled the WoD, but the WoD used Azem's memory crystal to untemper Elidibus. So he also was never locked up (because the Exarch didn't/doesn't exist). Other info. Elidibus took possession of the First WoL's body  
Oh yeah most people (so characters) do look alike as in the game. And the WoD is indeed a guy, but looks different of what we know from the trailer. Also when i asked if he is/was Zodiarks heart he first didn't wanted to answer that at first, i wasn't allowed to know. But when i said i dont matter the outcome i mean i know you were in game so. Then he said he Was Zodiarks heart but got untempered by woD/Azem. Somehow i felt slight embarrassment from him when i asked about zodiark lol. He isn't to fond of it he did that i guess?

This all was September 5th XD

September 6th Mysi*** shared a story she came to know through here automatic writings:  
Mysi***: "the Convocation were the only ones who trusted each other enough to survive very long" "Hydaelyn's attempt to stand in between Azem and Lahabrea, preventing them from being saved" "it is held up but-- if you could get out of the way!-- that's the tale. And yes, there is a Martyr, and a Knight, and a Queen, and all of the usual players. But moreover it was a wedge between us that Hydaelyn placed."  
Emet knew Hydaelyn's champion would arise in Eorzea and planned to annihilate it, fostering things like the Meteor project and the invasion, in order to get rid of said champion. Then he discovered who the champion was, and suddenly tried to withdraw to change strategy, but it was too late and Dalamud was still falling and so on, but that's why there was such a fizzled-out weak Calamity.  
That's about all I have that's clear  
I love how this is basically... first the giant lecture when I asked specific questions, then some other unrelated stuff meant just for me, and then "oh by the way here's some stuff we DO feel like telling you about the story"  
it isn't that the story is being withheld, it's that I'm not supposed to try to be in control of what they talk to me about  
also her reaction to my elidibus chat: You know, I wonder if there are timelines that are close to theirs, but with something slightly different happening in history, like... branching down different paths into multiple possibilities.  
I'm sure there have been people who /could/ time travel and cause changes in the past  
Even if the Exarch wasn't there, someone else might  
( this is correct I questioned this wayyyyy later like in early November, when I completely forgot Mysi*** ever said that.)  
\--------------------------------  
September 7th  
I shared a piece of a Dolores cannon book which mentions the warriors of light,  
Me: I know you would love Dolores cannon books. Start with the convoluted universe books. Creation magic existed on this very planet . And so much more that once was even in line with the ffxiv world. During Atlantis.  
The (counsil of) 12 exist also in our world including warriors of light.  
Piece of the book session early 2000’s IIRC, if earlier I will adjust it later:  
Dolores: “what do you mean by “the Great experiment”  
L: there is a great test of wills battling on Planet Earth at this time. there is much disease, much unrest, much civil strife, much combat. She is 1 of the emissaries (she is the person speaking technically, only the subconscious is speaking right now) who has come here to bring peace and harmony and wholeness to this planet, by working with the people with whom she comes into contact. By dedicating her love, she strikes that chord and activates beings to get in touch with that light. As the light continues to grow on the planet, the forces will come into greater balance or harmony. There are a great many Warrior or soldiers of light, who are battling this balance this triumphant scale of justice.  
Well there you have it Warriors of light. I will look up the council of twelve later, (also known as The Twelve in these books!) I got to many big pill books of Dolores and they are mentioned many times.  
\-----------------------------------  
September 8th  
Me: Well then i keep getting this sigil in my dreams (while searching for my own) and finally got a clearer picture of what i could remember. Surprisingly it looks of a combination of the previous (before 5.3) predicted azem sigil look alike (because azem's is way different) , 1 litte part of Elidibus's sigil, little part of Hades and a small part of Pashtarot! The examinations are made when i woke up. And also it helped me remember the parts when looking at the other sigils of what the rest could look like so i could draw it properly.

**Again I wished I could share pics here. if genuinely interested message me on twitter (@ascianity) I gladly share them.**

Me: Now i only wonder, where is that eagle in it? Perhaps this is a part of it? Or lets say the most, but the eagle is somewhere on the side or something outside of what i saw. I mean the other sigil's are very big compared to mine lol. This might be the core i think.  
I was correct on that point. halfway of September I had the full sigil.  
M***ie’s reply: That sigil is interesting. The chaos magic part of my mind wonders if one could combine parts of different glyphs to form usable sigils for magic. I will check with them first though to make sure that isn't insulting or a problem in anyway.  
September 9th  
Dreamt about the bottom part of my sigil. Outer lines. Since eagle is not on the bottom. I think its on top then above the crown.

Mysi*** who is a big fan of tempering shared a description of a tarot card: “the title of the card, Temperance may also be considered in the sense of the tempering of souls, as with metals, to make them fit to be used as tools in the Great works of God.

M***ie: "The tempering of souls" I think it was a book on alchemy I read that talked about going through the process of improving yourself and used metallurgical metaphors... Like being heated in a crucible and worked on until there were no more impurities, making you a perfect mirror for the divine. Tempering increases the strength and elasticity of a metal... Sounds like a positive to me.  
I thought the term in game was strange but I feel like that bit you posted is a likely influence. The process molds you into what the primal needs.  
I can't wait until we learn more about the primals. I already see them a bit like I see the gods of various cultures. It is difficult for the human mind to understand God/The All so we subconsciously break down the concept into smaller pieces. We do the same with science. A God of This Particular River is a comfortable way to interact with he divine and begin to understand it. Something like that...  
\---------------------------------------  
Later I had a random perv thought "some ascian make me pregnant and i will raise it in the source so it can cast magic"(i had actually Hades in my head of course) Then i heard Nabriales saying (his voice in my head) " some Ascian you say?" I was like : *oh shit i said some ascian" felt uncomfortable embarrassed, eventually i said " i actually meant Hades" Nabriales : ahh to bad then.  
Like what?! How did he popped in my head xD the perv he is xD  
September 10th side story dropped  
Me: Have you read the new side story?! They say youth of small gesture. Youth is between 14 and 18. Since he kept his adult voice his was atleast 16! Somehow i knew this since i wrote him 16 in my fanfic at that time. EDIT: And in Japanese they use a word to describe him that means young adult. Also, they confirmed their personalities (of all the members particularly ) are different before the sundering. This gave reasons to our ascian contacts of having calmer persona. The most beautiful thing about the story that the memory crystals we suppose to be left behind for the ones who would pick up the title after they "died". Are they recruiting us by training us in our powers?????? I would love too xD  
(add, i asked wayy earlier to my higher self which age he joined he was 18, so this would match both descriptions)  
TK: That one actually stuck to me the most, about the crystals being left behind for the "next batch". Also kinda was thinking about how i wonder if Lahabrea was ever annoyed about the Amaljaa making his once creation not a girl lol.  
\-------------------------------------  
September 13th  
M***ie shared some info from a book about ancients and stuff  
Me: Yeah even ancients of our world had creation magic in the literal sense of ffxiv  
And those ancients are atlantians  
They wore robes and masks as well.  
Source: Dolores cannon book: convoluted universe 1, chapter atlantis.  
Dolores cannon was a past life regressionist, and digged in peoples past lives. Some could even tab in the spiritual records of ancient history.  
Since the atlantian souls original came from elsewhere. I think drifting souls of the sundering came here and decided to stay because it looked familiar.  
M***ie: That's weird- you answered a question I was pondering earlier regarding how the Ancients were not from Earth, yet had a connection with Atlantis  
\---------------------------------  
September 15th  
Possible spoilers questions I asked my higher self : Elidibus will be freed from the crystal tower by g'raha tia himself in 6.0 After we defeat zenos who became zodiark in 6.0 we will going to a different planet in 7.0 where the dragons originally come from.  
The dragon planet isn't a reference to planet earth(asked just in case). Its a solely existing planet.  
Remember this lays into the future and can still change, though I wouldn’t be surprised if I asked these questions again they will be invalid. Yet I am not gonna do that. Lets see if I am right of wrong ;)  
On the same channel M***ie posted this:

M***ie: So I had a sudden intense urge to write, and the part of my soul/my higher self, told me her story. I'm going to have to leave some bits out because it is personal and I'm not yet ready to share her name, but I'll post some here:  
She held certainty in her heart that by sampling and working with the aether of the world in locations other than her home, she could greatly expand upon the knowledge of the magics of creation for the heritors of Amaurot. Thus she begged her way into traveling with Azem at times.  
I see a great field much like the Azim Steppe, a sea of pale green grasses. Stone obelisks at intervals, seemingly random, hold aloft banners of a multitude of colors. Here they traveled, carefree and curious, though (name) was quiet as ever. Azem understood her ways and was always happy to be the face, to speak to new peoples and hear of their plights.  
Though this day, none were happy. (name) felt it first. Rather, she heard it, coursing through her bones, pulsing in her blood with a nonsensical cadence that made her heart tremble out of sync with itself. “Azem! Something is dreadfully wrong here. Do you feel it?”  
There was silence between them as they listened. “You’re right. We must find the peoples of this land and see what they know.” In the distance, they caught a curl of smoke climbing up into a sky that huddled into itself. Clouds clung together as though they sought shelter from something beyond them, but did not dare to make a rumble of thunder or weep their rain.  
Over the next rise, they spied a village. Stone walls encircled it, a five sided structure of strange shape. From the smoke, our travelers had expected chaos and panic, but the people here seemed to be going about whatever their daily business ones. One or two here and there stopped to look up at the growing storm. 

“Azem… I fear what we may find there,” she whispered, though she could hardly tell why. Somehow that place was the locus of great import, here, in the middle of nowhere, as far from the great spires of Amaurot as one could surely be.

(omitted)

For she was suddenly sure that this would be her grave. 

“Truly, you worry too much. There is no fear to be had short of having to dry your robes after the storm. Come.” 

(name) followed her friend, if she could call her that, so little of herself did she give to Azem. She watched as the Traveler engaged in pleasant conversation, but she heard nothing but the arrhythmic thrumming of her heart. She bristled with growing fear, catching shadows out of the corner of her eyes. The impression that struck her was of a six legged beast catching and dragging off one of the children here, biting into it, laving it’s entrails with it’s long and twining tongues. 

She opened her mouth to call to Azem, but it was too late. She was alone in the midst of the village as a haunted strain of mockery of music slid along the cracks in the earth, through doors left ajar to let in the fragrant air, through the open mouths of the villagers as they strained to cry out. One by one they split apart, bursting from within with all the terrors and secret fears that twist through the hearts of men untamed. They glowed with a sickly light as the sky too split open, spilling down fire - hellish meteors rent homes asunder, splashing molten death on once lush earth. 

“Forgive me! I must tell the others! I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you!” 

This was the last she heard before the beasts descended upon her.

M***ie: Now that I've read what you wrote here, I'll ask about it sometime. I'm at a stage where I'm easing myself back into the work, this time without fretting first which path to take. That information will open to me as I go, as I learn. This time I was told I'm finally doing it right, so I thank you for starting this Discord as it's helped force me to take things seriously again. I've gotten the message in no uncertain terms that I need to believe in these things I think I hear and sense, that too much skepticism would be downfall.

Then we were talking about this story of her higher self. And I wondered what my higher-self name was. She couldn’t share her own “because names are a big deal magically” (she says). Though she said it sounded greek and started with a H.  
Thus me: owkayyyyy a random name popped in my mind when i asked for my higher self's name. i am allowed to share it, but mine sounds japanese its Ayantano. (is this the reason i use the name AYANE xD?)  
me thoughts stopped at the point ayan ( so I didn’t spoke my entire nickname) and were filled with tano. Ayantano it is.  
M***ie: Huh! I like that. It sounds Japanese but it also sounds like it could have other origins too. It feels like a very old name.  
We talked about her story and then she said this:  
M***ie: The interesting thing is I strongly sense that the event above happened well before the cataclysm. Like, it was the first location that where things happened (the Sound, meteors, monsters)  
just the feeling that many years passed between that event and the history we know about from the game.  
“Timeline: My story above -> Years pass -> Amaurot is struck by meteors/monsters -> Zodiark is summoned -> (probably years do pass here, because there was a second sacrifice to repair the planet, then new life flourished, and it's here that they were going to sacrifice new life to Zodiark to bring back those who had been sacrificed) -> Hydaelyn's summoning -> The Sundering.”  
\-------------------------  
Additional analysis notes per 17feb 2021: I wonder if that is possible though, a certain time ofcourse but the final days years after her story? Sounds a bit unlogical to me. But I did got the confirmation she was re-incarnated firstly and witnessed the sundering as a kid. I asked my higher self and Elidibus yes him too. Yet my higher self said less then a year between hers and the final days. But Elidibus gave her correct on this event or let’s say that there were indeed years in between more like 3 years. So I questioned further of how this could happen. It started slowly at random places and short moments at first, and through these 3 years before the actual final days, it happened more often on more places until it was at a point the entire world at once was affected and didn’t go away anymore thus the Final Days. Its is correct that years do pass after the final days were averted about 7 years until the sundering happened.  
\---------------------------------------  
On September 18th I had my complete sigil, I decided via automatic writing to let anyone who knows how it looked like to finish the design.  
September 20th  
I was at the Only outdoor convention that was able to be held during this covid year. Its was a grant success I heard later. No one absolutely no one got infected while there were 4000 visitors a day (instead of the 12k normally). And saw only 10 people walking with masks on. Anyway:  
So i did a random question if Elidibus was here with me (while on the convention behind my booth) i was pushed forward (yes). When i asked him to come for some questions just tiny things. How he feels about how my ex BF reacts to the Ascians. When he entered my body, i felt a huge difference in heaviness. Compared with my Higher self. I hardly could get my knees straight after bending them when he entered. (like being pressed down). After the questions he didn't left, he stayed awhile. He seemed to enjoy the senses a psychical body has. Like feeling the wind and sunshine. Its was a beautiful after summer day. Ah yes when he stayed i caught myself smirking to the other corner of my mouth. For myself i always lift the right side of my mouth for a smirk. But this time it was the left side xD also for some short moments i had the idea of double sight. Not as in double vision when you got tired eyes. But like 1 side was my own and the other his.

Mysi*** shared some info for me today  
Mysi***: Ayane, this reminds me of what Emmerololth said about you and Elidibus: your relationship with him in present incarnations is more important than blood relation.  
Piece of text of the book she posted:  
It is linked with the Spirit but as, with the evolutionary development of man, spirit becomes more easily consciously linked with matter, so does the need for the activities of the Bloody entity lessen. As has been long realised in the east, the relationships of the various personalities of subquent reincarnations are more important than hereditary relationships.  
Me: Isn't it a soul relation by default? I know i don't carry the body of his sister buy my soul is. Or am i getting this wrong?  
Mysi***: You're not getting it wrong. The idea is that no matter how you may be related to someone, what matters more is your relationship with them.  
M***ie: That makes sense entirely  
\--------------  
September 24th’  
M***ie: I feel like my dreams are slowly swinging back to interesting instead of entirely nonsense. Emet-Selch was in one of mine last night but it was a modern AU, heh. Last two nights my dream involved joining a group for the purposes of learning magic. I would share more detail but the rest seemed like nonsense primarily  
Me: huh? i had such a dream as well few weeks ago. But Emet-selch wasn't in it. But i was already 1 of the advanced people.  
\-------------------------------  
September 25th  
TK had a interesting dream:  
I had like a really terrifying apocalyptic dream last night, head still spinning a bit from it tbh because it was one of those dream that felt real, waking up from it was like feeling relief but somewhat terror. The first bit of the dream was like a pretty normal one I have, which usually is exploring whatever area I end up in. But the whole thing was people that I was hanging with or doing business with were all discussing that some weird stuff was going on (can't quite remember all of what was said). Then the dream kicked into overdrive and the apocalyptic stuff started happening(I remember some riots and things) and then got to a point that I remember a BIG meteor thing being in the sky and dropping. At this point I was too close to where this thing was going to land so when the shockwave from the impact came I just closed my eyes, hiding behind some structure there and waited...  
Why I'm posting this here is because of what happens next with this. When I open my eyes again I'm in the same place, but a lot is different. The area feels like it already has been through the events that just happened and the atmosphere is all the dust and a mist and cold is around everywhere. The area also feels similar but also different, like I'm in a mirror reflection almost. I feel like I'm in some sort of robe-like attire, no hood or mask on. Hear someone say something like "let's go, not much  
more we can find today" and end up going towards what looks like a house complex where people are gathering nearby in a park area. (I don't really see the person who talked or if I did I do not remember). Unlike the rest of the dream where I was just another person, to these people I can sense that they have fear towards me, but felt like I was a reason that they were still okay atm. One group tries to talk to me and I question why they are out here with the people who don't have a home in this area and they say that someone is going around looting and killing people and they felt safer "in this area you people made". I then put something on my face (felt like a mask, though not sure) and went looking around for this killer in the houses. Remember running into a room, someone was in there and they thought I was an intruder like them and almost got hurt , but they saw me when they used a light source and just wished me success. (Think they were hiding) Found the person in this attic and I just remember using some sort of magic to restrain them, take them out and essicentally threw them to the group outside and said "do what you want". They pretty much bluggoned the guy in a bloody mess with whatever was around them.  
The other person that was with me earlier (who now I can tell also has a similar outfit to mine on) asks what's going on and I say what happened only to get scoffed at and why I didn't take them out myself, which I responded with that I felt they deserved the satisfaction of taking the person out themselves. Person then just sighs and says they aren't cleaning it up (lol) and then changes topic to saying he overhears some people trying to leave the area and go out on their own, which "is pointless, becuase outside a lot of towns there's nothing but death and cold" and asks if I'm doing okay lately. I wake up around this time unfortunately. -_- 

M***ie: Interesting dream, TK! It almost sounds like the world after Zodiark was summoned but before the land was restored. Or not long after the sundering maybe.  
Well that was everything from September except for the rest of my dreams.  
\---------------------------------------------  
There they are:  
September 2nd:  
Ok then, 1 thing they all spoke my own language in my dream so i have to translate that. Here goes: Its started with something vague that i was cycling with my EX BF. Me: where are we going? Him: to Germany. Me: what?! On a bicycle? That several hours cycling! No i am not going (turns around) i see you tomorrow somewhere. (xD) He mumbled something i couldn't hear anymore because i was on my way back. When cycling back, i came through a street of a village. I noticed i took the wrong turn in needed to going up the hill that was besides it. But when i turned around, the environment changed to a warehouse like building with activities in it. After walking around a bit someone was whistling a particular song i couldn't catch the name of. I needed to go up a some sort of slope/slide thing to go to the upper level, on the upper level i might see how to get out. But before i went on that thing, the girl whistling started to let out a few words it was the Let it Go from frozen. I thanked her for letting me remind which song it was. So i sung along. After climbing up the slide i entered the upper floor with more activities. And there where small stalls to buy things from. When i went to the cash register to pay for something, i noticed i didnt paid for some other things i suddenly got with me.  
So i am at the cash register, and apparently it was very logical that Lahabrea was behind the register xD. (in amaurot cloak btw, not ascian) I was about to pay, and he asked : did you also paid fir those? Me: huh ( looking at the things i didnt know anymore) oh sorry i probably forgot, i will pay them now. I hope you can forgive me. Laha: it has been forgiven and gave a gentle smile. I paid turned around and thought he is so kind But so i was going to do some activities, like sliding with my feet over some slippery floor, i need to keep my balance. After that i slided into a different part. There were allot of people doing stuff in that part. I asked someone how to get out from this building. Someone notified me about some chakra colored gen stones that needed to be used at the exit. Me: where is the exit? Boy : in the garage where your bike is. Then i saw haurchefant sitting on the floor checking his bag and i noticed some big charka colored gem stones in the shape of a rectangle with on both ends a point. Then he left for the exit I thought i already had some chakra stones with me, but for just in case i took a round transparent box with the stones in it. And pulled of the price tag (yes i technically stole it xD) When walking towards the garage exit. I saw haurchefant again. While walking towards him i said: i already had these in my bag but i always kept them inside the box. He smiled. Then we weren't able to figure out how the exit worked. Then lahabrea came at us. But to help us. Apparently i bought a black electronic device that was needed. When i gave it him it him, the device seemed broken, the battery was overheated and snelled burned. Laha: there is something wrong with the battery, can you go pick up another one, then i will try to fix this obe in the main time. I walked away with the thought (omg he is so nice, i really gained respect for him). I felt warm and fuzzy, then i woke up.  
Another dream which followed this one, but playing it as a game. After bringing the entire convocation(without elidibus sadly, they wore amaurot robes) to the location i was in the previous dream. I was very excited to notice that this was the place i was in the last dream. I took pictures of that hill with slope/slide thing. But the handling was a screenshot xD  
But after taking 4 screenshots i turned around to look for lahabrea. Then this event went into game mode. And i was controlling my pokemon trainer xD (wtf). I found lahabrea between a mass amount of people. And a slope thingy behind him. I talked to him. He had huge text bars in black background and yellow text. Somehow i was clicking too fast for the next bar to read. So i talked to him again i took screenshots of it the text. Then i noticed he was talking i could get my own ascian robes if i completed sone tasks. But he didn't told me what. I screamed of joy, yes finally ascian robes for my character in game ! But i wanted to know what the tasked were, so i went up the slope to talk with him again.  
Then he said if i was ready to take on the tasks. Then i found myself flying on a random unknown pokemon on a wild sea. With a speedboat at my tail. The speedboat was important not to loose sight of me. I was searching on my screen for what my tasks are i found: Purify 1 dragonite Task completed 0/8. I thought i might needed to catch one on dragonite Island. But after a while of flying-surfing i came across a shadow dragonite flying over the wild sea waves. I thought i needed to fly into him to encounter and catch him and then purifying it, as it suppose to go. But instead i pressed a button and i attacked him. Apparently that was needed, so i kept attacking him he rolled over a few times in the air and then he was purified. Task completed 1/8. When i tried to look for the next task of what to do, the dream ended.  
\------------------------------------------------  
September 5th:  
I started vaguely when asking emet several times about my origin. But he always got blocked of speaking somehow and remained silent. Then i was at a random house, my mom came at me asking if everything was alright. Me: i dont know. I went to bed of disappointment in my unfinished ascian cosplay. Even though it was fake leather it felt comfy. I fell asleep i think. Then i found myself discussing with Emet again on my attic. Same subject.... Me: why wont you tell me! *crying * He said nothing. Me:( i calmed down a bit) i am sorry then i asked so much questions. I left towards the stairs saying: i wanna know where i came from, where my origin lies. I walked down halfway the stairs but still able to see him. He stared at the attic window ignoring me. Me: i wanna remember. I was hoping by calling the word " remember" from remember that we once lived. That he would react. And he did. His eyes when instantly to the corner of his eyes at the direction where i was. (the weren't yellow btw,, rather brown i think?, he was also wearing that fan art piece clothing of scion emet but without the emperor part) I walked down and hoped it worked. And it did he went towards me at almost the bottom of the stairs.  
He went so close from my face it was kissing distance and said. Emet : you said the right thing now, now you know how to tease me (he meant triggering i believe) And he gave me a short kiss. He went back upstairs i believe, not sure. I went to a empty bedroom with only a bed in it. I sat down in my long black robe jacket and let myself fall on my back of emotional exhaustion. I heard emet coming down the stairs. I quickly pulled my leggings more up to hide my chubby belly. he entered the bedroom with a big grin in his face implying for make up sex for being so distant. I liked that obviously (lol). I turned my body with my head to the feet end of the bed. He went laying above me holding himself up with his arms. And allot of horny kissing started. Then he wanted i pulled off my pants Me: oh? You want it xD?  
So i did. Then he did the same with his pants bit not entirely off, only halfway his upper legs. But after that he changed to some random African guy. Me: ho wait your are not emet. Guy: yeah no. Me: was emet even here before? Guy: i think so. Me: so emet was here before you? (i asked that to make sure i didn't made that almost sex scene up) Guy: yeah Of disappointment i put on my pants and went out of the room. Finding emet in the bedroom next to it about to changing a kids diaper while the kid was old enough to be potty trained even toilet i think the kid was 6? Me: what are you doing here? Emet: he peed. Me: why are you changing him, did he peed in his pants or something? Emet had a diaper in his hands. Me: he is to old fir a diaper. I saw another older kid crawling on the floor on hands and feet with also a diaper on his ass. (The kid was a boy with blond spiky hear. Both kids were boys.) I shook my head, and walked away and face palmed. Then i went into the car i didn't know who drive me, but the car resembled the one of my ex, so presumably him as well. He dropped me off at a small distance of my house so not at the door. Which is strange since the attic before was also my house. I picked up the sewing machine from the back of the car. And took a few steps. The car drove away.

And somehow my phone was on the ground with music playing. I started to dance. Then a theme song of Pokemon "born to be a winner" played. And i started to sing along but with the first few sentences of my own text regarding emet and me wanted to know so much and that i am sorry in 3 or 4 sentences that were rhyming. Sentences 3 and 4:” i hope you are not putting me to blame for wanting to know what actually happened outside the game” Something like that. And the 2 line before that were about the love i think, not sure. Cant recall it. Then continued dancing and singing along on the street towards home. I noticed i left my phone on the ground. From a distance standing i used telekinesis to let the phone floating into my hand. I continued dancing and hopping on the beat. Somehow my phone changed into a keyboard of some sorts with still able to play my music. Then i noticed that was a backyard sale in the other houses which i passed by. One with the annoying kid on the corner was selling dvd's. As i walked from that point and turned around the corner i noticed not everyone was completing for the backyard sales.  
When i almost home, a friend arrives on a bicycle (which i dont know i RL, unless it matches anyone here on discord haha) She was riding towards my house, she had round glasses and a bit longer then shoulder length brown hair. We greeted each other. Me: is Emet coming (with a sad voice) Girl: yes he will come he said. I opened the door and softly smiled when i went inside. Somehow the sewing machine changed into something else. Went I putted it down it opened and it looked like a wedding theme decor with Christmas theme/stall? And when you hold in on its handle it closes. So i didnt know before i putted it down. Then emet arrived holding a similar thing, he putted it down and there were weddings clothed dolls inside.. He was proposing me but without the words. Emet : do you like it? It matches with yours? I gained a soft smile. Me: yes i like it. I went towards him, but while waking up at that moment i remember hugging him. The end.  
Short analysis: he didn’t proposed me to marriage. No, it was a promise to help me remember. I asked this later.  
Had a image in front of my eyes of a simplified Elidibus and lahabrea glyph before waking up  
\-------------------------------------  
September 6th  
Had a small dream where these ancient one plushies that are on my bag came to life and walked everywhere  
Every time I got unknown glyphs in front of my eyes before waking up. I cannot draw them on paper sadly, but since they are with so many I think everyone had one and is not limited to the convocation.  
(this was later on confirmed)  
\-------------------------------------  
September 7th  
I had a vid on my mobile phone that was about the government and something was being said in code-language. I wanted my mom and my youngest sister to watch it. Only this was in the middle of the road. So we went something upon a bicycle or scooter . later in a park they were gonna watch it, I gave them the phone and told them Elidibus was in it at the end or something. Then I saw a alien monster thing that wanted to attack us. I ran away but my mom and sis remained standing and watching at that vid. If they wouldn’t move the monster wouldn’t attack them. So I yelled them towards them. They were surprised but began to look around wildly.  
Me: oh no he will see them this way.  
I went closer towards them near the nearest tree where they were standing and stretched my arm. They grabbed my arm.  
Me: come on teleport!  
This was the first time that I teleported others, I had some difficulty with it but succeeded.  
We arrived at my moms home (even though it looked completely different) there was something with my ascian cosplay, something not finished, broken or missing? I don’t know for sure.  
I was sad about it, but them my mom came towards me with a silvery Elidibus robe.  
Me: oh it not white but I do appreciate it very much.  
She made that for me. I turned emotional of it. All armor pieces were made of fabric. I took it, hugged it and hung it on a coat hanger on a door.  
Then spontaneously we were somewhere else. we were at a holiday outing and there was a play from a magical creature that needed to be defeated but you could play the hero. Only this wasn't a “play”it was real. I took the role of something who couldn’t defeat the monster. My mom said something.  
Me: no, this is not for [redacted name of my son] either  
(even though my kid would have liked it, but to dangerous)  
I grabbed a magic staff which you could use and attacked the creature with it. The creature could speak and had a big mouth of foul language but he couldn’t defeat me and decided to go toward my moms home to destroy everything over there. I teleported after that thing en saw him near the Elidibus robes my mom made for me.  
Me: if you touch that I tear you apart in pieces!!!!  
I don’t know what happened after that, I believe he left. Sadly I forgot most of the end. Something with I gained claws on my fingers and elidibus showed himself. But he didn’t said anything. But I know for sure that he was there!.  
\--------------------------------------------  
September 8th  
I was dreaming about founding my possible sigil on a stone wall but the eagle wasn’t there in it. At first I mistook it for the Hades one because of the tail end. After examine it allot I looked away while holding my finger on the wall, when I looked back my finger went of my hand. I tried to put it on again xD but didn’t work. I decided to reverse time while keeping the memories. Some fingers weren’t the right size, like index and middle were the same length, but didn’t bother it.  
The person that was with me found it very impressive. Then I went outside the cave. I was in my old neighbourhood where I grew up as a child. I saw some kids playing. I noticed that my shade had ascian robes with a WoL cape(mr. FF cape). The kids wanted to interact with me, asking what I was. I got started and left. They are not suppose to know what I am. They didn’t chased me. At that moment I saw myself running in white robes but with that yellow 1st WoL cape waving in the wind, then it went back to first person mode view.  
Then the dream went about something else not worth noting.  
\------------------------------------------  
Sept 11th  
I dreamt I was about to ask lahabrea something while waking up. And I said the question while getting awake. I don’t know what my ex said but he was laughing in my face of what I said. I can only remember that I was about to ask something lol. After that some random lahabrea appearances but not a story to tell or forgotten.  
\---------------------------------------  
Sept 12th  
I dreamt that I was traveling for a very long period of time. I flew everywhere, through things, endlessly nature trees flowers whatever you can come up with “nature”. After a long time of descending I was suddenly back into my home town again.  
Me: oh we are back in [home town name].  
With huge house number plates upon the roofs. Number 13 $ 14 is what I saw.  
Then I noticed lahabrea in the distance, I wanted to grab this chance to ask him something and walked toward him. But instead of asking something of value I asked something non relevant >.<  
Lahabrea happened to be in a body of a old man with grey hair.  
Me: are you my dream guide? (seriously why did I asked that?!)  
He walked away shook No with his head.  
Me: if you are not it, then who is it?  
He pointed to some random old guys  
Laha: maybe those.  
I stood still and laha left. I was flabbergasted 3 old man were staring at me. But I never saw them before.  
Me: nope, they aren’t  
Then the dream shifted toward the center of the city with all the shop etc. inner city is it called?  
I was able to enter a contest to win 800€. The goal was find emet-selch. Me with 2 other girls went absolutely crazy with enthusiasm. So I asked 1 of the girls Michelle (black hair and blue dress and wore glasses)  
Me: ok where is emet-selch  
Michelle: last seen at one or other Turkish shelters (ok wtf doesn’t make sense please ignore xD)  
Me: huh? What does he need to do over there then?  
Michelle; come I know which way.  
That second girl was always walking/running behind so I never saw how she looked like.  
So we were running through the shopping district. After running for a while and Michelle is on the front leading the way. I thought the jump sprint through some shop decorations of streamers to be faster and dodging all the people. But on the last sec I decided not to do it. Because I could get entangled in it.  
Me: whoa shit no don’t!  
And went around it  
Me: haha long live lucid dreaming xD  
I was afraid if I would be pulled out of the dream if i would go around it. But luckily that didn’t happen.  
Michelle In the meantime had gone into shops to ask if they had seen Emet.  
Me: do you know where he is now then?  
Michelle: yes up ahead!  
After like 200 meters and some other stores asking where he is.  
Michelle: we need to go back he Is spotted at the drugstore.  
Me: huh what is he doing over there?  
When arrived at the drugstore  
Michelle: no, he is somewhere else again.  
And we ran back the road we came from. Then I possibly saw him in the distance.  
Me: is that him?!  
Michelle: yes!  
Emet had blond straight hair So not with the wavy hair ends but the same length as the solus clone body. And was wearing a black leather jacket and a jeans.  
He was quick and we chased him. Eventually at the Albert hein (grocery store) entrance, michelle grabbed him at his arms and I said: EMET-SELCH!  
He reacted to his name turned around and sighed. I looked at him with a big smirk on my face.  
Emet: eh no go away from me.  
he broke free of michelle’s grasp and disappeared. Because he didn’t wanted to see me?  
Me: oh? It didn’t came into my mind to attack him with kisses (like I usually would do) but anyway we have succeeded! We found emet!  
We all cheered and jump into the air.  
Then we were at the start again of the contest. I accepted the contest so I would be the one receiving the money. But during the chasing I already decided to give a part to the girls.  
An African woman gave me the money and said: the other will get something too.  
Me: of course without them we wouldn’t have succeeded.  
Michelle gained 150€ and the other 50€. The rest was for me.  
Me: I wished I could take this with me to the real world.  
Woman: yeah I don’t know how either.  
When I walked away I was hold up by that second girl that was running behind me all the time.  
she had brown curly hair with glasses. I was wearing my ascian robes. She called her name (that I couldn’t remember ) and asked which title I had.  
Me: eh I don’t have a title on the moment but nice to meet you I’am Ayane.  
She was very close to my face when i said that and felt uncomfortable . when I said my name the dream ended.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
September 14th sex with emet **(NSFW warning 18+ you have been warned)**  
So I was in a classroom and couldn’t find a suitable place. Later I went outside in only my underwear and flew through the streets until I arrived at a open field. An African man with long Rasta’s told me that if I fly and descend my dreams will become lucid. That was the trigger word. He grabbed me and put me down on the grass.  
Me: ah lucid bingo.  
The man disappeared and emet was standing behind me because I wanted that. His white tuft of hair was more or less absent . he was horny lol. So we kissed on the most horny ways and wanted sex but his dick wasn’t erected enough yet. And he walked away disappointed.  
Me: it doesn’t matter, teach me magic then. I chased him towards his house. He was cranky. I tried to make one another negotiable. And it was not a fight or anything. but slight frustration tension from him. later I encouraged him to try it again. funny enough on the same grassfield.  
Me: come on, just stick it in.  
So he did and penetrated me. And we had sex. At a given moment he couldn’t orgasm while he clearly was on the edge of cuming. He decided to stop but when he stood up everything got covered in sperm.  
Emet: ugh grab something and put it inside you.  
I gained big eyes. I wouldn’t let me tell that a second time! So I did that. Then the dream ended.  
\--------------------------------------------  
September 27th  
I don’t know exactly how this dream went actually only the end of it.  
People of amaurot were searching for a place to stay. Only someone was being a butt, it looked like a female mayor or something like that and gave a speech. The amaurotine were only allowed to integrate if they meet certain criteria. I believe it was hood down and mask off. I believe I spoke a few words ancient toward the group. “oh neh koe lu hoe” of which I myself don't know what it meant, I think something like: do you agree with this?  
An amaurotine replied in English: it’s a sacrifice we must take to survive.  
I didn’t agree with that, with that mayor. But satisfied that it wasn’t a problem for them and accept the terms  
\----------------------------------------------  
September 30th  
And dream that played on a ginormous festival area. Every building had his own final fantasy theme and I was searching for XIV. I skip the boring part here and go to the end of it.  
I was outside between the different buildings standing in the streets, I felt a threat coming near. I didn’t saw anything yet but did felt it.  
Me: I will summon my ascian powers then to defeat it. *thinking: then an ascian will be the hero for a change*  
So I stood there focusing on my powers to call forth. Then I saw some flying person pixie thing(dangerous version). I was almost ready of charging up and did some power pose with energy orbs in my hands. And then I woke up because my mom called -_- FFS  
Well that was September next will be October, (hopefully not that long as this one xD)


	8. gaining more ascian info (October)

October 5th  
So i had this question toward M***ie is she could ask if the Ascians know about our God. And I had a tarot question that was if she could figure out which card I pulled if a was successful in contacting Elidibus. When she finally got the time to do it, she replied:  
Me: did you had the chance to ask the question?  
M***ie: Ah yes, though I completely forgot the tarot question Ffff. But I went into it initially with a mindset of "I'm open to whoever wants to talk to me about anything" and that was interesting person stuff and a reminder to keep at what I'm doing and to take care of my body for a change. But I at least got to the God question and as we're all in the same universe they feel we know the same divinity. I heard something like "The Great Mind" maybe.  
That the sundered better understand by dividing it up mentally into lesser gods that feels more approachable. That might be my own beliefs coloring things. Unsure.  
I'll try the other question tomorrow as that should be less involved. I was glad to have the privacy and a reason to do something more than just meditation

Me: Oh nice, so the Ascians know about our god i take it?

M***ie: Exactly. We're in the same universe/existence

So yeah the Source is in our Universe The Milky way and our universal god called “The great mind”. (or Greater mind)

October 14th:  
So my ex had questions. He cannot connect somehow with his higher self so i do that for him. But after that, he had other questions regarding the worlds future, corrupted government things. At the sudden someone came to me. I asked if it was my higher self (by her name) i gained a no. I asked of it was elidibus i gained a yes. I told my ex to ask the questions, then he said " who is it?" I: "elidibus" Him:"Omg, elittlebus." And he sorta apologized for all the troll replies he did ever on him. We came to know the Elidibus's height was a sensitive spot. Yes was, he isn't that small anymore (possibly late bloomer) . After the possible future questions of planet earth that i cannot share. Elidibus stayed a while again, my ex and i talked about other things, while at random elidibus gave answers to. That was nice. All though my ex will try not to make fun of him again. Elidibus understood it was all a joke, but didn't like it as much.  
Well the late bloomer got confirmed later. and at the times of writing this even more detailed. But I will save that for a separated chapter will all his youth things I know regarding him and me. Until the sacrifice and a bit after.  
Other replied  
Mysi***: Oh, I'm glad you were able to talk to him! That's wonderful.  
Hmm, given that they can change and mould the shape of their own bodies, I wonder if the issue with his height is actually like a reminder of how young he was when he joined the Convocation. An issue actually with people seeing him as less mature due to all of that.  
He doesn't want people to think he wasn't mature enough, so he doesn't want people to think of how small he was  
M***ie :I can't imagine he enjoyed the whole fandom drama about his age either  
ME: He was a young adult lol, i believe i shared that info earlier.  
M**IE: "This is true. Young though he was, none doubted him but for himself. But are we not all subject to the malady of self doubt at some time in our lives?" - Lahabrea  
(That was interesting and I won't complain about the sudden commentary)  
Some time later:  
Me: If you can ask lahabrea such a quick note. Tell him i appreciate the help he gives with my cosplay!  
I would love the reply on that one.

M***ie: "Of course. With the work you've put into it, it deserves to be accurate" (lahabrea said this)  
I don't know. Sometimes it's like that. Sometimes I have to make a big production out of it. But your message has been shared and received and is appreciated  
So yeah lahabrea suddenly replied via M***ie twice.

That same day M***ie did a question for me if Elidibus could come into my dreams ahain because I started to miss him. This is what she got from elidibus:  
"It is difficult to intentionally enter dreams. They are a functional conduit for sending messages yes, and ever imperfect. Distortion is always present and a factor to be kept in mind" (I think he means don't take everything in dreams literally because some is just brain nonsense mixed in) "Visualization exercises as such will help her in growing the awareness needed to continue to hear and see and break through the veils. Continue your duty to yourself and we shall meet again with ease."  
He meant the last part to you, even though it went from 'she' to 'you' - Blame the scribe lol  
Your duty, i mean

New member Azelyn joined! Yay!

October 19th:  
I was working on my cosplay, and i cant remember i pushed something or hit anything, but something fell of the table that happened to a tape roll. Right after that some purple smoke halfly camouflaged in front of my mother painting on the wall. I asked if it was him, i was pushed forward. And if he dropped the tape roll to be noticed. Another yes. I said i wished i could actually see him, or more then that slight purple clouds that there was only for a second or 2. "thank you anyway for making your presence known" i said.

October 20th:  
So my sister visited me ( the one who is doing tarot, and believes me for the FFXIV actually exsisting). So i was telling her about lahabrea helping with my cosplay. She couldn't pronounce the right correctly, and started to make fun of it, and my ex BF joined the fun. I was getting annoyed by it, because i didn't know if Lahabrea would be annoyed by it too. they continued for a while including wierd accents. They both sat in the living room. Then all of a sudden the automatic bubble blower activated itself. But it didn't contained bubble soap. They were baffled(is that the correct word?) and i was laughing loudly, because i knew it was lahabrea doing that. Me : lahabrea wants you to stop lol Ex BF: no it must be something evil. After my sis turn the thing off they stopped making fun of Lahabrea's name. Later i asked silently in yes/no question mode. If it was lahabrea. It was indeed a him doing that. He wasn't bothered by the making fun of his name, he is used to ever worse. O-0 He noticed that i didn't liked it, so he wanted them to stop for me because he saw how annoyed i was of it. That was so sweet of him, i thanked him for that.

October 22nd  
I was busy with my ascian cosplay for Halloween and was busy with the wings on the back.  
Me: At first i didn't know how or where to start the carving of the wings. But as soon as i grabbed the knife it went somehow automatically. I knew instantly what to do.  
Lahabrea likes crafting

October 29th  
Mysi*** shared some info she got from a book and summed up some interesting points:  
1) "God's two gifts to man of intellect and the word". In this context, "the word" means the ability to create... like... creation magic. It sort of looks like it's saying that's what ascends to the immortals. Which is fascinating. And who else calls their creation magic the Word? The Akademia.  
2) "The world, too, is a god, image of a greater god... the totality of life." Here we find an association with living creation, nature, the ecosystem, the creatures-- all wrapped up in this deity. It sounds like Zodiark as described here. I wish I'd had these pages to hand when I was discussing on Twitter whether or not you could "really" count Zodiark and Hydaelyn as deities. Many systems, including likely this one, make provisions not only for such auxiliary/restricted-scope deities, but go on to insist that this specific one is in fact Deity. It looks like such a Zodiark analogue, it's not The Demiurge Of Everything, but it's the totality of life and nature.  
3) "How could there be dead things in God, and if the world is God, how can there be dead things in the world?" This is where he just explains that nothing actually dies. Going on the trail of the previous thing about Zodiark, it's one explanation for the Unsundered view of the world-- their people are not dead, they are sleeping as Zodiark is sleeping, and that sure does make it easier to  
4) In fact, he says, they're not dead, but moving, and that life consists of constant movement. That's also correspondent with what we know of Zodiark.  
5) "whether you speak of matter or bodies or substance, these things are energies of God who is the All". There's a strain of cohesion here that I think the Convocation would have appreciated in their monotheism, although I also side-eye that same monotheism as not giving fair due to e.g. the elemental primals and other such influences.

October 31st  
So, i was walking in the forest with a friend in cosplay. Halfway elidibus came to me. I noticed by suddenly my body felt heavier. I felt like half fused with him for a sort moment. Because my friend started talking so the concentration of the fusing was gone. To bad i couldn't see the full moon due clouds :/

 **Dreams of October:**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
October 2nd  
It was actually a way longer dream but the end is only worth noticing.  
I was with my mom, dad and my son cycling towards France we were standing at a water edge. Dark skies cleared and a bright sun appeared. And I said: the sky has cleared and we have been graced with another beautiful day, but this time you were able to see it ( I was referring to eli)  
Mom: what did you said?  
Me: nothing.  
And we went further on our bicycles.  
(Btw that cycling through france is what my mom and dad actually did/have done. they cycled from the Netherlands all the way through France when they just met each other).  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
October 6th  
The dream started with I was in a complete white area, no walls or other physical objects. I closed my eyes and spoke Ancient. Then lahabrea appeared very shortly but disappeared just as quick has he came, but he remained talking to me. He said that the armor plate on the right arm that I was making had important symbolism. I said it was possible that it wasn’t entirely correct because I had some mistakes in it. He said that it doesn’t matter and that it looks good enough to do justice to the symbolism. To bad I forgot to ask what it meant. After that I was busy appreciating and cherishing that thing and was careful with it.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
October 8th  
I am an ascian in the Pokemon world now as well, the evil gang awakened my powers. but they couldn't hypnotise me (while they could with random people.) but while trying they unlocked my ascian powers in the Pokemon world. I kept myself stupid, because the hypnotizing didn't work. Leader: youvare a ascian right? Me: yeah Leader: dont you wanna be that here too then? Me: well being an ascian in the Pokemon world would be a dream come true, but i got no purpose here. I prefer to use it in the final fantasy xiv world. Leader talking to the rest: come never mind her, if we stay here she will lead us astray. And they finally left. In myself i thanked them for unlocking it. And while focusing on my powers i finally saw black smoke as energy coming from my hands. So i whent outside to test the strength in the Pokemon world . But then woke up.(edited)  
Ah yeah the worldchampionships were held in the dream lol.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
October 11th  
M***ie had a dream:  
I had some weird dreams. Really all I remember was I sat on a hill outside of Amaurot and thought "With the city at my back, yet always ready to welcome me home, I gaze at the clear sky and my mind is clear." Then I realized I was wearing Ascian robes and could feel them very clearly, and I thought "Yes, the Robes of Splendor and the Wings of Victory"  
\------------------------------------------------------------------  
October 12th  
I dreamt I was busy with the sleeve armor of my ascian cosplay and lahabrea gave me telepathic messages how I needed to clay with the foam clay. Several times I thank him.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------  
October 13th  
2 dreams  
1: short images of lahabrea from his back side and emet in solus clothing that pointed out something, I cannot remember what happened with emet, yeah he said something: that’s cute (that was it). with lahabrea it was about my cosplay but I only saw him from the back.  
2: Ok then, dream after my early morning sleep. I was at a water edge in a city it was dark and the crescent moon was at the heavens. I attacked something that was crossing the water, probably in self defense because i was wearing ascian robes. I attacked it with wind elemental energy. I noticed it didn't work and stopped. I noticed the thing that was crossing the water was already gone.  
Then i noticed Minfillia (source minfillia) i was wondering why she wasn't afraid of me, but didn't ask her. I went to the left to continue walking at the water edge. She was following me but i didn't care. Later where i stopped at a random place with still water surrounded but more nature added. I noticed her busy with something, and i decided to ask her: minfillia (which was Ryne now but i still called her Minfillia) can you summon elidibus for me?  
She said: "ok no problem" And put the fingers straight into the ground as a shovel, they glowed and pulled it out again. She continued to do her stuff like this was nothing for her lol. When i was wondering when he would come i noticed she made other holes in to ground. But the holes are glowing now are they all have a floating greenish rock above them. They shoot out lines on the ground that at my left side collected themselves into what almost looked like elidibus (half upper body) as a drawing on the ground. It started to glow more intense. But then i woke up due a noice from outside. Almost!  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
October 20th:

I was sitting at the back of my ex BF, while he was driving a scooter. (we dont got one in RL lol) We were driving allong the water edges but into sand, well mud actually. Later it became grass again temporarily. After that it was water again, but we were drivibg upon the water now. The water was getting deeper. He drove straight through it, flinging me off. He went under water, and came up again. I was some attached to the scooter, but decided to fly after/next to him instead. Later we were driving on a hill, i looked at the left and saw amaurotines and convocation members at the foot of the hill. Me: me, convocation, (grass desperately the grass to get of the scooter), Ascians. I need to go there. And i whent towards them. I wore black robes, i hugged the first convocation member i saw. But couldn't see who it was. Me: who are you actually? She removed her mask and hood. She looked like a carribean skintone, a sturdy round face, but beautifully make uped her face. She had a blond bang like emet has the white one. Agave was her name (lol) Then another member came towards us, also removed her hood and mask, she had blue hair but forgot her name and looks. Her name was mentioned though Later an old man of the convocation gave a lecture or something, explaining some magic symbols in according to primals, in this case Shiva. Then i noticed the First WoL standing next to him. I saw a strand of silver hair, but his face was covered with the helmet. I whent under the helmet to peek his face. Me: Elidibus?! And gave him a half assed hug ( i had trouble not waking up yet, didn't wanted so soon) Elidibus had a very surprised look on his face. And then said Eli: Ayanto? (shortened name of Ayantano?) Me: yes!  
Then i started to wake up, but first dreamt that i was about to write this dream down. Including the correct date of today.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
October 22nd M***ie shared a dream  
I think this was mostly a "let's mix several things together and see what happens kind of dream" but:

I was travelling and we were near somewhere I kept calling Carson City in the dream. I had been to a cool gaming shop there once so I decided to return and check it out. The people there were fighting monsters but it wasn't an urgent thing. More like hunting them for loot. I made my way down to the bottom of the main structure which looked like an almost Middle Eastern castle/spire complex that's built into a rock spire. The shop didn't seem to be there and was replaced with another business and closed. I asked someone there about it and they said it was still around but the owner had not been sure he could keep the place open so he went in business with his son and the place is now both a gaming shop and barber shop. Just then I saw a flash of the back of Ascian robes not far away and I pursued them through the crowd. I got closer and saw it was Lahabrea. He was actually wearing more casual clothing to fit in here. I said "I know you" and he snapped back "of course you do. You nearly killed me." I said "no, I'm not the Warrior of Light. Emet-Selch taught me your history and" "AND you consigned him to oblivion as you would have me had not that idiot Thordan captured my soul. But no, I didn't die. Somehow instead I'm in this world, licking my wounds." I took his hand. "Can we talk somewhere?" Then we were in a motel room. I explained that while I knew him from the game and we fought there, Emet's teachings made me realize that I knew them once as myself, not the character. He was suspicious at first but I said "then how else would you have ended up in this world, in this place in the middle of nowhere, and how would I have come here again were it not for fate?" I started to wake up here but I was sitting next to him holding his hands in mine, and I could feel him considering my words. Then my alarm went off :/

\------------------------------------------------------

I also had a dream:  
Originally a very long dream but one about that I missed a premiere of an ascian movie, I tried to figure out if I could watch it again but couldn’t find it. Eventually I found the building where they did showed it again. I only saw a zoomed in view of a Shield with zodiark symbols on it. (the one on the ascian robes on the back)  
\------------------------------------------------  
October 24th  
I had a dream i had a echo ( past?) attack. I thought first it was a seizure, but my body wasn't shocking. I said to my ex, no its the echo. Then i landed in another dream. I was in Indonesia, that somehow was merged with Africa, and the entire continent was somewhere more nearer to the artic. So a huge ocean between that and Europe. We needed to go by airplane to go home, my ex and son sat in the airplane i forgot something, i told the pilot to wait. But he didn't. Luckily another plane with the same destination (Netherlands) came later. During the travel i admired the view, the plane wasn't a regular one, it was 1 of those personal/smaller planes where only a few people can board. I also came to learn that the plane i missed first when lt to Iceland and then to the Netherlands. And mine whent straight to the city Hilversum in my country. Me talking to the pilot: oh that a bummer for them, we wont arriving on the same time. How long was the travel you said? 48 hours? Then he talked about a break at his place at 6pm, and continue flying the next day. I was able to stay with him if i would carry my own luggage (lol) Me: sure no problem. I can do that. So the next day happend i wore the wierdest combination of clothes, orange linen pants, and a bright light green shirt, we were flying above land and he did some stunts in the air. After 2 loopings i told him to stop, my head wasn't agreeing with it. He whent flying normal again and enjoyed the few again. Then right before waking up an image of an amaurotine appeared for my eyes. (Hythlodeaus?)  
\-----------------------------------------------  
October 25th  
I was walking in the grocery store and it became lucid. I went searching for ascians. I tried with my mind to visualize them. Then I turned the corner I saw emet. but adjusted to modern setting, his white hair bang was blond and thinner and he had lichter brown hair. He greeted me I grab his arm and said: lets have sex.  
Emet: Sure!  
So yeah that happened sex with emet.  
\---------------------------------------------

October 27th  
I was with a group of people outside. I saw dalumud moon in the sky, bahamut was in it. But it glowed orange gold like, like the star shower. I waited for the star shower to come but didn't came. Bahamut had trouble getting out of his shell. I went on a search for red gemstones and granite in someone’s room. Later i went back to the open area where i saw bahamut in the sky. Dark clouds covered the shell, i tried to use my powers to get rid of the clouds, but didn't work. So i started to hum the answers song. But the people i was with were laughing at me because they didn't knew the song. Then i thought : shall i just let the song ring on my phone?, no i am gonna sing it. Then i started to sing with susans voice like the half of the song. The cloud disappeared now i could throw the stones at him to help him set free. But the stones were to small, and only cause small explosions. Then i noticed big bombs hidden in a wall behind me, i swooped them out and immediately flinged them at the shell. Then suddenly someone grabbed me throwing me on the ground to protect me from the explosions. Boom massive bang! Bahamut was freed, i didn't saw him, but i could hear him roar in the distance. Then i saw what happened to be estinien's parents? They were mocking about estinien that estinien didn't liked them as parents. Then i thought: Whuuaatt? Estinien is heavy attached to his lost family, how come? Then i woke up.  
October 28th  
Even though I wrote this dream down at the date of happening I cannot remember it somehow.  
In this dream I had allot of random shit through it.  
I encountered Elidibus as WoL and he needed to fight to regain memories. First he fought against a younger brother (younger then me) of him. After it was my turn I changed into a female version of the WoL with white hair. Then I watched myself from a distance. I got knocked down somewhere during the fight but got back on my feet with the help of my sword. I pulled myself standing. Others thing happened but I forgot.  
\-------------------------------------------

October 31th  
This was a weird dream because some tv character was in it. The dad of the thundermans >.<  
Something about a lost ring of the Thundermans. Our friend Wesley that thought my Ex and I were married (WHAT?!) that was very confusing and awkward.  
Later I saw row of pumpkins in a grasfield and found that ring back between the pumpkins. That dad from the Thundermans already putted on a different ring. But I apparently didn’t noticed the one he was wearing now had Elidibus’s glyph on it! (FFS) he picked up the lost ring. Then a dwarf (of ffxiv) said: maybe you can open this now as well. While at the same time a cave appeared and a door opened with pictured treasures on it. While walking through the hallways Emet selch gave narration (xD) then I was watching it as an episode from something.  
Me: how is this possible?  
I saw the credits and after the credit it continued a little bit.lahabrea was turned into a baby size and heard him yelling:  
Laha: I got a new name for retailer  
Me: and that is?  
I didn’t understand him sounded like: muf muf xD I walked towards him  
Me: sorry I didn’t heard you very well, what did you said?  
Laha: I got a new name for retailer!  
Me: yes, and that is?  
Laha: garlic xD  
I was laughing myself sick XD  
That was it.

I decided to make November a separate chapter anyway. Or else it would be another huge chapter to write. The soul bonding with elidibus happened in November on the 4th to be exact.  
Please look forward to it.


	9. The Soul bond (November)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at some parts it has a NSFW warning, dont scroll to fast to byass it because i also notify when it has ended.  
> but you might still need to read it to understand it all.

So this is the month it all started, though as far as i could remember is was asking questions daily to Elidibus so that bonded already in a different way now that i think about it. I can’t remember every question is asked during that time, but the one before the bonding I remember still.  
This chapter will contain NSFW but that I will notify extra above the text so pay attention if you don’t wanna read that. All of the dreams will be at the end again, unless it’s a very imported dream that needs to be told in between.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
November 1st  
i tried to make a energy bulb (like in dbz) in my hands. And asked if Elidibus could make it appear as a sign he is with me.  
After like focusing for 20min i think? The energy was so intense i swore i was feeling his hands in mine. He couldn't give me the orb as in visible sense, but instead i felt his hands or part of it.  
Later i asked questions, he cant make himself visible sadly also not partly like only his hands.  
But i am able to feel his energy when he touches.  
I asked if he could hug me.....  
I felt a hug coming from the back, my body felt twice as heavy suddenly. I could feel his energy covering me as a hug.  
I left a tear of missing him so much. And so i stood there for a minute long or something. Enjoying the sibling love.  
(for as far I still saw him as my brother at that time even though not blood related anymore).  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
November 2nd:  
TK had an experience  
I had one a few nights ago at work that I thought there was some cloaked figure on the roof. This happened twice two different nights, but haven't seen since the last one. (Last night didn't get to take out the trash where I saw it)  
Also from my hometown I'm quite used to paranormal stuff, especially also near Gettysburg and such. I haven't found much around here since I moved unfortunately :/  
A dream I had  
i had a dream, how to get into QHHT state and to visualize things. I tried to dig in a past life, but all i got were geometric shapes and rader waves you see when you record your voice. I couldn't picture people either.  
Later i kinda woke up in the dream in a classroom i said what i saw and wasn't able to visualize persons.  
Then the schoolbord showed those rader/voice waves. And it started to play as a vid but looked like a scroll, then it started to wave.  
I was getting dizzy of that and asked if the teachers could make the board stop from moving.  
But then ignoring the annoying waves, i saw a male black person appearing, that walked towards the door  
Me: wait i see a person now!  
The male changed to a chinese girl and left the room.  
My thoughts, : if i can see persons now, then!  
I ran out of the classroom and saw a huge group of people. With 2x eli. Yes but 1 was a cosplayer assuming that. The other one was halfly floating above the crowd so that was the real one.  
I ran towards the crowd., but halfway i woke up.  
I gained a thought while waking up: good job, try again next time.  
Not sure if that was my own thought!  
I wanted to try again directly but the airalarm (monthly check) went of. So i couldn't get to sleep anymore.  
Then i noticed my eli plushie was standing on my arm, leaning with his back against my body.  
Normally he always lands next to me, but not this time!  
I thanked him for letting me show something of how to do things i can actually practice in RL. Which i asked at 1am at Halloween while looking at the moon.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
November 3rd  
that practice i learned in my dreams is actually working when i am trying to fall asleep.  
It helps me to see things, i can't control yet of what i see nonetheless i still try it.  
Its like rolling your eyes to the back, or let them fall to the back, or something like that. It probably not really a 180 degree rotation to the back of your head, but it feels that way. I get almost instant things to see, and sometimes drawn animations, i had one that emet-selch turned into crystal like ysayle did to become shiva. But the crystal got a life on it own and fires itself to an object or someone.  
M***ie wrote/posted a fanfic that day and she had a hard time hearing the unsundered atm due strees  
M***ie: Sorry- stress basically is like...static. Trying to hear through radio static etc, and I'm not yet practiced enough to get through it. But I did hear Lahabrea briefly last night after posting the story. He appreciates creative works as I'm sure you've learned with your cosplay  
Me: Haha i asked him if he likes the story. I got a yes xD  
M***ie: Aaahhh, that makes me very happy. Thank you.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
Some spiritual experience (copy pasted)  
lahabrea just helped me find my matte primer. I need to repair a little piece of my claws so i need this matte primer that i never used until now. I asked if i still had it : yes.  
Then i asked of it was in 1 of the crafting boxes: yes.  
I was pointing at the 1 of the boxes: no,  
The second box : yes.  
I looked at it. And it was there :D  
\-----------------------------------------------------  
Well and here we are the night of November 3. Before bedtime I asked Elidibus some questions. Lore questions of how it actually happened in regards to the game. Even though the questions always end in either of the 2 options I given or yes/no( I always validate if it was the correct answer). i can still write it down as a story:  
First of all the Exarch as we know him doesn’t exist.  
Well Hydaelyn/minfilla contacted the WoL about the problems on the First that he needed to go there to prevent a Re-joining. He possible asked how. And she showed him Cid unraveling the CT. she said with the CT you can travel through time and space. Use it and save the First.  
no sooner said than done. Well I don’t know the details of how. But the WoL solely arrived with the CT on the First. So the Scions weren’t there either. He did however encountered ryne and gaia also if I remember correctly. And a powerfull mage similar to the Exarch’s power but its wasn’t the Exarch/G’raha. Not sure if this mage was able to control the CT I don’t believe I asked at that time.  
All the main battles happened, learned of Amaurot. battle with Hades as well, battle with elidibus.  
Now here it gets interesting. After the battle with elidibus, the Azem crystal glowed up intensely and untempered Elidibus. The sad scene also happened. But instead of being locked up like in the game. He went towards the lifestream instead. He rested there for a while. Came to know of Planet earth and the possibilities of telling their story thus he went towards planet earth.  
But since they are atleast 20+ years (rather 30 if I think about it) in to future in comparison of the game, I don’t know when the unsundered came to earth.  
So after these questions and answers I thank him and went to sleep…….  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
November 4th during the night  
**NSFW warning, though not very much detailed. But might be needed to read to understand everything.  
** This is embarrassing to tell but i do it anyway since it has a different meaning. (at that moment yes but became more later)  
.......  
I had soul sex with elidibus...............  
It started halfy asleep/dreaming but awake at the same time. seeing his glyph all over the place on my upper body. I was kinda hypnotized i think, in trance. Because i sometimes pictured myself in ascian robes being marked with his glyph. I also saw his glyph floating above me like being on top.  
Then I turned around towards my left side and then on my belly. A glyph appeared on my hand and kissed it without realizing it  
Later i opened my eyes from the kissing and noticed i was kissing his glyph that was on my hand. I kinda woke up after that point. Realizing my brother is in a horny mood........  
It kept continuing....stroking me erotically like everywhere, it was heavenly, yet I was unsure if he was actually doing this and after a while and not something else so i stood up and asked. And yes, i even asked in the name of God, but elidibus was doing this indeed.  
He even admitted he was horny lol.  
I was like: you don't mind me enjoying it? (because i am his sister, and against incest things, all though we aren't blood related atm)  
He didn't mind.  
I was like ok, and lay down again.  
He continued. And even had sex, I even felt he was penetrating me.  
Omg  
*insert most sensual experience ever *

After all this i asked, if we indeed had sex......  
And yes we did.  
I asked if it has a different meaning then what it means between alive people (yes)  
So yeah.....  
Soul sex  
**End of NSFW of that day**  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
i haven't slept the entire night. He kept continuing in a more subtle manner.  
I asked some questions and this was his first time doing this.  
I even asked if he had ever a girlfriend or wife before "no".  
But this does not mean we got something like that now. Its a soul bond ritual.  
Later :  
And i still only slept from 9am to 10:30am. And he wanted again,  
I asked A couple of questions (at 1pm).  
After talking to him (with yes/no answers) before bedtime . He apparently grown attracted to me so much he couldn't resist anymore. I think he had a better idea then to have just a hug in a dream ( which I asked for that night).  
Which emet has less trouble to enter since he got access to the lifestream. 

He seems to be opening up more, not so stoic anymore as you experienced him during chats about me @M***ie. but he could still be towards you. I understand this raises allot of questions if you ever speak him again. Feel free to ask i would like to know what he says about this , or denying perhaps. He will probably stay neutral and pretend nothing happened. But maybe, ya know just maybe he talks around it indirectly admitting it.  
Or perhaps asking lahabrea about this bond of me with Elidibus. He knows about it. And he is more chatty lol  
(This is what I said in discord. But after a few weeks it wasn’t just bonding anymore. And M***ie never answered the questions.)  
It wasn't an easy day for me, couldn't sleep anymore. My mind floaded with questions. And asked several times to different entities aside from him, if it was really elidibus and not some spirit pretending to be him. And it was indeed Elidibus.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
**November 5th Slight NSFW**  
Ok, so um he is really into me. I was not in trance or anything like that, this morning i was awake and noticed he wanted, kept teasing me, trying getting me horny.  
Then i said:" do what you cant resist" (but in dutch, since that's more of a saying here)." And go ahead."  
He waited a bit until my Ex was fast asleep again then he went all out on me.  
Omg he is good it felt as actual sex but from the inside. Soul merging and all.  
After a while gained a freaking orgasm. I felt like completely melted with him.  
After that i fell asleep and him laying next to me i believe, it felt that way at least.  
During a dream i was dragged out of that dream of gaining a horny impulse, when i woke up i noticed a stroke between my legs.  
He accidentally woke me up, it wasn't his intention to wake me.  
**End of NSFW**  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
So i asked questions about this.  
He wanted to continue the soul bond (which goes in half asleep trance state)  
He was literally like " oh shit" when i woke up from it.  
And he never would have thought he would be such a naughty boy, he is surprised by it himself .

so yeah, this made me question the sexy times with me and emet-selch in dreams. So i asked emet-selch questions for a change. But sadly he wasn't the actual emet at that point in the dream. So i asked emet what elidibus is doing was my imagination or not. Nope not my imagination he is actually doing this. And i made a half joke with "this news probably is spread like wildfire within the convocation" i got a yes as an answer xD.  
Oh that deep dream about emet that i said "i wanna remember" and he got triggered by it, was him. In the ending as well. But the proposing wasn't a marriage thing, but a proposal to help me remember.  
M**ie: I read what you wrote and while I can't speak with anyone on the matter at the moment, I see nothing terribly weird about it. I have a friend who is married to a spirit so soul sex as a concept doesn't phase me and you've got my thumbs up  
TK: I read too! I don't see anything wrong with it lol  
Me: Would you ever expect that of Eli?  
Omg Though i can image suppressing any lust feelings for 12000+ years and suddenly breaks, you end up being a dirty bastard  
M**ie: -looks at my fics- -shrugs- haha  
Me: Perhaps your fics have allot of truth in them  
M***ie: He's the first Ascian I actually wrote smut about. Also I feel like they don't see sex the same way we do. We treat it like this big deal taboo thing, but the sense I get is that it's different when you are immortal. It's bonding. Closeness  
Me: Yeah correct. Its just my body react on the mortal way  
M***ie: well yeah Nothing wrong with that  
\---------------------------------------------------  
**November 6th little bit NSFW**  
Ok i had soul sex again. For like 3 hours. Something remarkable noting. At almost the end, i had a thought about i need an orgasm to fall in deeper. And then i felt deeply deeply penetrated and gained the orgasm in no time.  
**End of NSFW**  
\---------------------------------------------------  
Some other thing happened that day  
Some interesting side effects.  
(The day before so nov 5th)  
So my ex made his delicious pirate soup a few days ago, i was warming it up to eat for dinner. I tested if it was warm enough by dipping my finger in it and to lick it of. Strangly i felt like i have never tasted it before (and liked it ofcourse) yet i knew i had this eaten 2 weeks ago.  
Just so, It was Elidibus's reaction to it.  
Today (Nov 6th), my ex talked about Eli, and that overcoming the mistakes he made in the past and became a higher being as a result. Is something awesome to talk about. I was careful with this subject because its a bit sensitive to eli (at least i got the idea it is, that he was Zodiarks heart and such,) but then my ex formed it so beautifully that a few tears walloped in my eyes. Those weren't mine. I was even wondering why i even cried, i was moved by it but i had no intention to cry. Yet it happened.  
Later i asked eli if that were his tears, he said yes....  
In that same question round I also asked other things. he also feels my emotions and the erotic feelings he creates with it while " bonding" which he likes, making him (finger quote) "excited" if you know what i mean.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
November 7th  
I had a dream i held the azem crystal that lit up but with a different constellation on it Auriga (after searching on the internet what it looked most closely like) Its a different kind of shepherd According to the greek mythology. I will write down the dream i had later. Before the azem crystal i had a dream about fusing with rhe fire bird Phoenix to heal a terrible disease of a kid.  
I need this to get of my chest here.  
I couldn't sleep the almost entire night, halfway after i slept for 1 hour. And woke on the time elidibus get major active. Random thoughts about unsundered ascians baby's came to my mind.  
Because i would count as an unsundered after this life because earth made my soul whole, (yet for them I am still a shard, I will be a different kind of unsundered).  
But as lovely i would do that for just the sake of it, but it is still my brother doing this. I don't want mental ill soul kids because my brother would hook me up.  
(I am still against incest, and i would never do this in a mortal life. So dont get me wrong).  
So i mentioned this problem that mortal bodies get disabled and mental illness because of incest. And asked if he could research if this also happens with just souls.  
He got alerted by this, and stopped his um love making.  
I stood up to confirm he would do the research on this. He would indeed do that. I laid back in my bed again and I sent emet-selch after him to make sure Eli will tell the truth when he found the answer.  
He wasn't there the rest of the night, as much i was probably gonna be disappointed by the outcome i came with thought perhaps Hades would do that for the sake of it? But i already gained a quick answer to that, with a contrary thought " he is probably waiting for the WoL to reincarnate female again"  
I needed to ask my higher self to get me to sleep somehow i couldn't do it myself. It took longer then usual.  
Eventually i slept from 5 to 8 am.  
After i wrote down my dreams and my ex was out if bed.  
I asked eli if he did his research, he did.  
I asked if even on soulwise brother sister matter would give mental disabled souls. Sadly a yes came for an answer.  
( well this was at the point he started to answer in favor with certain things, so this was a lie technically, he went along with my thoughts of what I expected it to be) but ofcourse I didn’t know he did that so this gets a little weird:  
I was dissapointed. And he didn't want that to happen either. It would loose its purpose.  
I asked if we were still bonded, because aside from the sex part i still enjoying his closeness and i dont want to lose it just because we cant have kids together. I said we can still be together we just cant have any ascian kids. At first he didn't wanted to continue the sexual part, but i knew he enjoyed it. After some other thing explaining i got the idea, of some other unsundered would hook me up thinking about hades. I received a no.  
There was 1 left.... I said lahabrea wo? I couldn't finish the sentence and already received a yes.  
From disbelief i held the my hand in from for my mouth.  
I dont got any love feelings for him, Would lahabrea really do that just for the sake of it? " yes"  
Wouldn't Igeyorhm get angry about this? "no"  
I picture her even smiling at it if i am not mistaken.  
But then i asked if eli is ok with this. He said yes.  
So i mentioned we can still be together and do what we were already doing but that we just can't have kids together.( He probably didn't expected me to accept lahabrea being a volunteer to do this, didn't asked that).  
And he seemed ok with it. But now i hope this bonding wont be lesser then he was doing, i think i would feel incomplete if he would lessen it.  
Ok, i asked lahabrea some questions regarding this.  
My thoughts about this were correct on the things i didn't ask yet.  
And eli got carried away of a joke lahabrea made. Lahabrea's joke: " so are you gonna make unsundered ascians baby's now?"  
So that was his reason to do more (omg)

Apparently M***ie was confused by this because she had a crush on lahabrea (while he is not interested in that way towards her) and she left discord after saying: "I see" and Her goodbye message:  
M***ie: Heyo! I don't super have the mental energy for a lot of Discord channels, and am culling several of those channels for my own sanity. I don't feel like I have a lot to contribute here, and I feel like you Ayane are already so much better at getting the answers you have been seeking- Proud of you! But I'm going to go ahead and hop out of here. I don't have anything to say really about spirit babies and what not- this is a bit outside of my realm of interest or expertise. Take care, everyone!  
This looked rather she was jealous or something about lahabrea, yet I was in despair of her leaving I mean Mysi*** wasn’t much online either and TK only talked every now and then at that time ( she became way more active after Mysi*** was out of the group)  
\------------------------------------------------------  
November 8th  
So I went on searching the internet if I could find any info on spirits giving birth to new souls and eventually found this (copy pasted):

A spirit (soul) cannot, of their own volition, create new spirits.  
The Creator participates in the creation of all new spirits, and could do so independently, but has chosen to include certain spirits, and the mortal lives they attach to, in the process.  
Eternal spirits are those that have chosen to be together for eternity; they are the equivalent of parents in the spirit world. Two spirits of a certain level of status (having concluded approximately half of their physical lifetimes) can request of the Creator to be eternal spirits. It is not a role desired or sought by every spirit; fewer than one-third of all spirits have this function.  
The creation of new spirits involves a process that includes the Creator and human conception when two eternal spirits have been destined to be together in their physical lifetimes. The newly created spirits then are guided to the spirit world where they spend the equivalent of a decade or two being nurtured and trained before attaching to their first physical lifetime.  
Eternal spirits, and their spiritual children, are the most enduring of relationships in the spirit world. The “parents” participate in the creation of as many spirits as they believe they are capable of nurturing and mentoring, which they will do virtually forever, but, as with human children, will be more intensive whey they are younger.  
And this on the same page:  
There is a special group of souls that assist in the (for lack of a better word) “birthing” process. We don’t know about the souls who are above the “nursing” souls who assist in bringing the new souls into consciousness, as they are non incarnating souls who have never been interviewed. Even the nursing souls have never met them. I get the impression the area that hands off the unborn souls to the birthing souls is off limits.  
Imagine a glowing pulsating globular ball of energy. It is protected by a denser energy membrane. The nursing/birthing soul carefully pierces the membrane and opens it up enough so the newborn soul can emerge. It floats upward and becomes aware of itself for the first time. Everyone of these newborn souls are unique, and the only thing they know, at this point, is that they are. Besides that, they don’t know a thing. The nursing souls care and nurture them to help them become more aware. When they get to a certain point, they are assigned to “post birth” teacher and small group which starts their orientation as to who and what they are.  
(now that I re-read this I need to read Dolores book “between death and life” I think I gonna barrow that one from my sister).

After sharing this info on discord Mysi*** replied: Lol.. Yeah, souls don't have disabilities. An Unsundered child would be perfectly healthy by nature, I would think.  
\----------------------------------------------------  
November 9th:  
I came to learn through these questions that they go along with your intuition if they dont got an answer or don't know the answer.  
They aren't all-knowing archangels of planet earth.  
I should have asked my higher self of this matter, since my higher self knows more of planet earth but still contains knowledge of the source.  
Yesterday i asked a question and didn't gained a yes or no  
I tried a " i dont know" answer buy pushing me to the right. It worked. So yeah they don't know everything but still allot more then we do.  
Btw i am very close with Eli now. he "grabs"me everytime when i am alone lol even during the day.  
\----------------------------------------------  
so yeah still living with me ex and, and my ex wanted to taper off the feelings slowly (explained correctly? not sure) so we wont have a hard time when we finally separate in the future.  
but he kissed me, and when he went away to do other stuff. elidibus grabbed me right after that xD omg even though he said (with yes no answers) that he knows what going on, and i made promise to my ex to do this and he accepted that. but damnation he was definitely like "yeah ,...no you're mine"  
\------------------------------------------------  
November 10th  
I have a wierd sensation going on.  
Everytime my EX says : but how do they know? (meaning the info we got from elidibus and lahabrea through questions)  
I got the echo effect in my head, but doesn't come through. Or at least i make the same movements as our WoL grabbing the side of the head and then sorta faints and get visions. But its blocked i dont faint but instead i feel exhausted and dont see or hear even if i try to focus.  
\---------------------------------------------  
November 16th  
Ok I had nothing but small dreams of being pregnant of Elidibus.  
Even though Eli as WoL was in the dreams it wasn't sadly him. If he would appear as himself in dream he would be in ascian cloak.  
( ok tbh I completely forgot about this, its good to read that back. Now I only want sex in a dream with him for a change)  
\---------------------------------------------  
OK so my ex can feel when Eli is horny, because he unknowingly absorbs the energy and becomes horny himself all of a sudden.  
I got 2 guys that want me. XD feels like a hentai comic. (luckily this got solved later >.< )  
\------------------------------------------------  
November 20th  
when i was standing at the bird cage plus trashcan to throw away a tangerine peel. Atm of throwing a energy orb appeard underneath my parrots ass and he almost tumbled over.  
I am not sure if i did this myself or not. Before i grabbed the tangerine i had a thought of opening a portal to the FFXIV world. But that wasn't on my mind when i was peeling.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
Around this day I discovered the Eli made a copy of himself to be with me all the time. Which is very sweet ofcourse, but that copy or what I call a clone also had sex with me. And I didn’t want to be deceived thinking I would have sex with the real one while it’s a copy.  
How did I discovered this, well certain questions the Real one should be able to know were answered either wrongly or incorrect while he claimed to be Elidibus. Then I asked if he was the real one. I gained a no. I asked if he is a clone of some sorts, I gained a yes. I asked is he answered in favor (which I started asking doing recently so I 100% got the truth and not some favorable answered question) I gained a no. so it was a real clone, a (temporary) soul split might be a better word, but I go with clone.  
A clone has most of the memories of his original, so that why he was able to answer certain questions correctly but also some incorrect or couldn’t answer. A clone also goes along with everything you think is possible as truth if you don’t question/validate it.  
Even though every experience the clone has with me the real one can choose to receive it as well. This day or perhaps 1 or 2 days later I asked the Real Elidibus to remove the Clone. He understood I didn’t want to feel deceived. He removed the clone permanently. (He made the clone about a week after the first soul bonding).  
Thus after this I noticed he was away during the nights. He has work to do. A workaholic still xD. So that clone was to keep me company. But I rather have the real one around me when he got time.  
\------------------------------------------------------

November 22nd  
Jezzah joined  
Now here I continue some clone info, even though jezzah claims to be emet’s wife. I gained totally different answers which I was not allowed to tell her. This info is only for our discord members.  
The only confirmation on info she shared with me was that she and emet grew up together as friends. She wasn’t native from amaurot, but came to amaurot as a kid because she had creation magic abilities. She was from an technological advanced city inhabitant with bird like people, like harpies (those creatures mentioned in a dream, those were the ones) she herself was an hybrid of the bird people and a normal human. Some details of this will be in a later chapter. But the rest of all the things she claims to have heard from her Emet, I didn’t gained confirmation of or debunked/ never happened.  
This is the danger of a possible clone here, I do got all the answers but I cant share those publically, even though she is not a member anymore and left in February .  
Clones on this matter can rejoin/merge with the original at will when needed, often enough jezzah said emet was gone and that was for several days…..i think you can fill in the blanks here.  
Now eli was also gone for a couple of days at the end of December but I didn’t had a possible clone. I was able to reach him via meditation, but that story is for the next chapter!  
\-------------------------------------------------  
So Nice chatting going on with Jezzah about her and hades until she says this:  
Jezzah: I'm a Zodiark loyalist  
Then me without thinking what to type: dont over do it please.  
Me: why did i typed that  
Jezzah: Elidibus spoke through you, I think I made him uncomfortable  
Me: yes xD, and yes its a sensitive spot for him.  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
November 23rd

I was chatting with jezzah:  
Me: I have read a theory once on twitter about eli, that when azem left the convocation. It was his first failure as emissary. I had this picture in my head him standing on a cliff watching over some field of big crystals. Clenching his fists of anger and sadness and failing.  
This is how I feel right now, this literally happened with me and M***ie.  
anger of the deleted info that was meant for me. Failing of my eager behavior of asking so much because I wanna know, and sadness of her leaving.  
Jezzah posted random pics of her youngest son. Not sure if it was to cheer me up but I took it for that.  
Before I wrote above I saw that pic In my head again. But this time from the side, him crying with his mask off. Clenching his fists.  
Jezzah posted more pics of her son…..she wasn’t really consoling….she kept talking about other things and only replied when I replied to things that was of her concern.  
Few hours later:  
I gained confirmation eli had the same or similar with azem.  
He was holding my hand for like 30 minutes.  
\---------------------------------------------  
November 24th  
I tried some tarot card pulling that day, with the question whats the meaning of my relationship with Elidibus. Pulled the Lover and universe. Went through the meanings of each via Elidibus which ones are the ones that apply. And I asked before flipping the cards which one was more important. It happened to be the lovers. I asked the same question to my higher self Instead of Eli,  
Also the lover and the universe, but also the foolish man. I was surprised by this. And asked each meaning if it was relevant to my relationship with Elidibus.  
The flesh was for because I have still a mortal body atm. Not sure if that is also the hidden meaning of it. The other meanings that applied were eternal life and spirituality.  
So I did the same with the meanings of the 2 other cards. Which came at no surprise.  
The lovers: love, beauty harmony.  
The universe : recognition  
Jezzah: Could I request you do this but with me and Hades? I'm not well practiced with runes yet.  
Me: Well this was my first time trying actually. And I am doing this in a little different way then just picking random cards. I ask with each card of it has relevance while keeping my eyes closed.  
I might can do it later, I go to a QHHT practitioner on Thursday that's a past life regressionist. Also to break some Veils I hope. And I think my first other person I gonna practice on is my ex BF.  
If I get the hang of it, then I will do a, session for you.  
I just literally decided to do this spontaneously on first try.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 26th

The QHHT session:  
When I entered the realm I found myself flying above a big lake. When I was flying further I noticed 2 shades were joining me.  
After a while of flying I noticed 1 of them is nabriales. The other I wasn't sure about but either emet or lahabrea.  
Suddenly the flying was interrupted by Elidibus suddenly appeared 20cm away from my face. With a big smile on his face.  
We continued flying, I was following him.  
During the road, nabriales was teasing me. He grabbed my robes or foot(not sure) I stopped flying and pushed him away with my clawed glove hand against his mask. We were flying above a huge forest at high speed  
We continued flying towards something.  
And that something was all of a sudden the crystal tower. I tried the ask which one this was. I believe I got the Source version as an answer.  
Elidibus made a void portal for me to go through. I did so. But arrived somewhere in a room with a bed, with only eli and me. He um wanted me at that moment I could feel his hornyness made me horny as, well, but I knew I couldn't have sex at this moment because I came here for a reason.  
So I sofly declined, but he understood. And then he made another portal and went through it  
I saw how Elidibus was sacrificed to become zodiarks heart. He floated up and zodiark formed around him. My heart aches, I prefered him not doing this. We were very close bonded at least.  
Zodiark needed sacrifices to stop the calamity. People who were volunteering raise their armes in the air and became light bulbs that were absorbed by zodiark.  
I wore a red hawk mask. I was a member of the convocation. Not sure if I was the 2nd 14th but the mask was red at least.  
Zodiark stopped the calamity.  
But zodiark needed more sacrifices to repair the damage. I felt uneasy at that part. Still people volunteering to do that.  
Another sacrificed made.  
Elidibus removed himself from zodiark. Stood there like half a zombie like complete enthralled.  
I began to questionary zodiark's intentions, but I didn't wanted to leave the convocation for that. I devoted myself for the convocation so I kept the doubts about zodiark to myself.  
Then the opposing group summoned hydaelyn. Emets narration rang In My head. And they fought and they fought and in the end hydaelyn was victorious, dealing a blow so devastating it broke the very fabric of reality. Sundered the land and all who dwelled upon it.

The unsundered were protected by someone. They teleported themselves to the moon if I have seen that correctly, it was blurry. (that part might be incorrect we will see hopefully in 6.0)  
But my soul drifted off (the Source piece), while the shard parts were bring reincarnated, the Source part (me) went to earth's solar system.  
(The solar system of the Source is at a third of the universe circle. Let say if you picture a clock earth would be in nr 12 and the Source on about nr4)  
Before descending to Earth I tried to contact them telepathically. I couldn't for a while because the sundering just happened. But after a while it became a present communication so I wasn't in the past anymore. I was able to ask questions, sadly I forgot if I was Elidibus sister or wife/girlfriend (dammit x( ).  
Most of the question will be on tape. I get later  
But I was emet-selch's student. He said: yes you were, you were also a, little nuthead, and petted my head and made my hair messy.  
Also questions about how to get back.  
Between every answer it was" Remember us remember that we once lived" echoing in my head. One of those answer's was to be myself and follow my heart(made me cry) , wear clothes like us including the mask you got.  
Me: in public?  
Emet: yes also in public  
Me: jaw, dropped  
Lahabrea : just do it.  
Elidibus was mostly smiling of the time.  
And then questions like how to break through the Veils, but I need to study the 2 books I bought, for finding answers for that and how to get back home.  
And some point emet talked back in Dutch, that was funny. I said in dutch: I thought you couldn't speak Dutch? (Ik dacht dat je geen nederlands kon?)  
Emet in Dutch : only a little bit. But I prefer English. (een klein beetje, maar spreek liever engels)  
Me: that's OK.  
We continued about breaking through the Veils and the possibilities to do so.  
Allot more has been asked and answered but I leave it here it for now.  
When saying goodbye, Elidibus and I kissed, gave emet a big hug, lahabrea too. He gave me his mask. (didn't saw his face noooooo)  
I said: why now already? I cannot come with you yet. I gave it back. He putted back on and gave him a hug.  
1 final long kiss with Elidibus and hug.  
And I was slowly sinking away down. And saw them disappearing out of sight.  
Additional note: I asked like in September which title I would get if I return. I didn’t wrote it in this story yet. I went through all the titles and it happens to be lahabrea. >.< he will retire when I get back. But since so many months have past since the QHHT I wonder is that is still the case. But lahabrea retiring is a fact atleast. Probably searching for a suitable successor atm.  
\------------------------------------------------  
November 27th  
Me: i guess when i am bloody tired i can visualize better. On the road back to my home yesterday, i was listening to the song you send me earlier. (shape of your body nightcore) and saw me and eli dancing. Have you read you qhht session?  
Jezzah: THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH EMET, HE'S BEEN HANGING OUT WITH YOU. Also, this is really amazing info  
Me: Well I rarely dream about him. The only thing might be is, that he is actually around the house lol. All though I am attuned to sense eli, and sometimes lahabrea during crafting. But emet not that I noticed.  
But yeah I asked technically if he and Eli would be present during the session.  
They weren't sure if lahabrea could be there, but it seemed he was lol.  
And we talked about some sexual ascian sex stuff.  
I did a meditation/self hypnosis session that morning:  
Me: Yeah, so I underestimated my tiredness of the session this morning. And left eli F**k me, but after a while I gained monstrous head ache. I couldn't continue.  
So I made my apologies I couldn't continue. I swear I heard : lay down I take care of you.  
So I did. And the headache was gone in 20min. But still very tired. He made sure I could sleep again.  
And woke up 11:30am. Yes I am having actual ghost sex (for the lack of better term) with eli.  
Jezzah: Lucky, I wish I could communicate with Hades like this. My husband looks at me like I'm crazy  
Me: Not everyone can contact spirits. And even more less specific ones like we can.  
Though I even hardly hear them talk, I mostly get the answers via my higher self method by letting them push me forward or backward for certain answers. Also random thoughts, thinking it was my own, might come from them. I need to learn to listen. But it's hard since it's actual telepathy. But that one sentence even it seemed my own voice. Was clearly him.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
November 28th  
today I showed me ex that cutscene in 5.3 where ysthola shares her findings with Elidibus in Amaurot.  
I could feel the real him watching with me. Felt heavy, he didn't much liked it when he rewatched himself. But my ex was misjudging zodiark original intent all the focking time. So I had to let my ex watch.  
Eli confirmed that zodiark became evil after he separated from him.  
Jezzah: Oof  
\-------------------------------------------------  
November 29th  
OK, I had a nightmare since long ago.  
But it took long before I felt asleep.  
Right before going to bed downstairs my ex said this:  
Could it be Elidibus is attached to that plushie of him?  
Me: yes big chance he is.  
Ex: well when I entered the bedroom I felt he was looking very intimidating towards me.  
Me: ah dont sweat it, he loves me.  
Ex: meh just be careful OK.

Later when we went upstairs.  
Me entering the bedroom I indeed felt him as a strong presence.  
I asked when my ex was on the toilet if eli sees my ex as a Competitor.  
He answered yes. I was like awwweeeee.  
That so cute and sweet, I love you. And he pushed me forward for a I love you 2. But he also noticed that possible demon/evil presence inside my ex was going to attack me 1 way or another.  
I went to bed, and couldn't sleep until past 3am.  
Now here comes the nightmare:  
I dreamt several wierd things already but they were not hurtful, only confusing and frustrating.  
But then I was at my ex parents in law house staying overnight. I was trying to sleep and get into the trance state where I can see eli. But I was keep getting disturbed, my phone and my ex's phone kept playing a vid even after I shuttled down the volume. I finally succeeded to shut down my phone. But my ex's didn't. The shut down button was nowhere to be found. I kept searching to shut down that video. I ignored all the porn on it I couldn't care for that at that moment. Finally I smacked the phone on the ground leaving it broken.  
Ex: was that really needed?  
Me: are you insured? You could get a new one via the insurance.  
Ex: hmf.  
Then our son walked into our room creating havoc and more disturbance.  
I was angry at him, he supposed to be asleep.  
We went to his room, and he had pulled of all the curtains from the ceiling.  
After saying he needs to sleep and hanging back some of the curtains I went back to our bedroom.  
Later my ex came too.  
I tried to sleep again, but when I was in the trance state within the dream. My ex got possibly taken over by the demon that's inside of him, and he punched me hard in my sides a couple of times. I tried to fight back, but wasn't strong enough. I tried to pull away his fist, and tried to bite his arm. But it didn't hurt him.  
Then he was using his other arm ready to hit me again. I screamed : Elidibus help me!  
I had my eyes closed so I didn't see him. But I was directly swooped out of that dream and awake. I thanked him. And he hugged me very tight.  
Another semi nightmare I had this night.  
At the end before getting worse I noticed my eli plushie on the ground I walked towards it, and woke up from it. He saved me again.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
November 30th  
emet was away from Jezzah for a couple of days.  
me: Elidibus appeared after my ex BF saying we don't got a relationship (me and Eli) I asked eli but relationship (he meant marriage though) can only if I go in astral travel. Because he is a spirit. He does agree being lovers at least. I mean he f*cks me heavenly.  
I need to practice my shit, then I can be with him more.

Jezzah: I knowwww but that doesn't stop me from missing him. He's my precious ascian <3 and being away from him hurts.  
Me: Lol, I always ask eli if he is staying overnight or needs to do shizzle. Asks when he comes back. So I don't need to miss him so much.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------

 **November Dreams:**  
2 of them are already mentioned above so I wont post them another time  
November 1st  
So i had multiple tiny lucid dreams, where i searched for elidibus. Tried to visualize him to make him appear, but failed or got disturbed and landed in a different lucid to try it all over again.

And whats with getting back to the old district i grew up with. I am stuck in memories of how it once looked because it destroyed every house and sadly all nature with it. (heavy similar emet-selch's feelings for amaurot vibe)  
And that i will find elidibus in that district. 

But its not like that anymore...... All nature is gone and filled with modern ugly houses. It really hurts, fairies lived there even if i couldn't see them. There were traces of perfect circles of mushrooms around or at a tree.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
November 7th  
i had a dream today that i was fused with that (fire bird) phoenix to heal a terrible disease of random kid. the young african boy's s body was technically dead. his skeleton was made of dried out branches and his skin was dried up and hard. he was hung up high on a pillar and i flew up towards him.  
place my hand upon his chest, and all flesh and skin returned. he asked how i did this.  
i said thanks to lahabrea's creation of the fire bird phoenix i drawed upon the healing powers of his creature. he was amazed.  
after that i went to other kid with unexplainable belly ache. i place my hand on the young girl's belly ( she was like 4 or 5y old? she was white btw) i somehow also felt the pain when i touched her. not as much as she did but with it was fierce.  
me: oof this is an intense one, i will see what i can do.  
i couldn't heal everything because i didn't know what was going on. when i was finished i said the rest will heal over time. she had apparently a huge knot in her guts.  
then a group of kids run past by me, which warped me in the next event.  
i wanted to walk alone for the last part towards a children's Bday party.  
i saw the same group of kids again, this time all 2 Y older. 1 of them i recognized as a daughter of the Pokemon card sells man in my city. (in RL she is 15 now) but here she was 9. i said she changed allot in positive manner in just 2 years.  
later i arrived at the building where the Bday was held.  
picked my Azem crystal out on my pocket with should have glow in the dark effect. i said "let it glow" (as a sign i am right i am the 2nd 14th)  
slowly the dots started to light up. and i was amazed. but i didn’t had the sun i had a different constellation on it but i didn't got that link yet in that dream. me: look omg i'm right it light up on command, but this isn’t glow in the dark, its wayy to light for that to see. i realized this was the real deal the stone felt also as actual crystal now. then i dreamed i recorded it when it started to glow and wanted it to post on the SHB FB group. then i woke up  
November 10th’  
After a vague dream that something had happened to my dad. I was reading on a white board a message, but the grammar didn’t make any sense, thus kind of not making sense that I could only remember my did something with a scooter? Then I noticed I was able to read within a dream. I tried to make from the letters Elidibus. I almost succeeded it said Eldibus.  
Me: oh to bad, but almost!  
I tried again but I was pulled out of the dream towards the inbetween trance state. I noticed a piece of paper with faded edges and Japanese signs were writing on it with blue ink. I realized I was in a trance state and tried to focus on Elidibus. but became more awake because of it and then I actually woke up.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 14th  
I was outside searching for Elidibus I was wearing my black robes and red convocation mask (the ones I got in RL aswell) then a group of people approached me. They happened to be the Power rangers but in normal clothing .  
(in all honesty I haven’t seen the power rangers series in more than 10 years now, so I got no idea where this came from)  
The one that is supposed to be the red one ask me who I was searching for.  
Me: Elidibus the Ascian.  
Red: oh could that be the same as what we call the asjiens?  
Me: oh! But ofcourse it sounds the same.  
We were walking through a park. later a burning rock was launched at me from a distance at my neck. I just so happened to be on a battle field. Grenades, hot coals and rock were all shot at me.  
I was laying in the ground trying to avoid it to make me as small as possible and be less of a target. no matter how glued I was to the floor I tried to come forward to hide behind the trees. This succeeded a couple of times but I needed to get to that building that was firing all these bombards. I noticed the power rangers a little up ahead. I went crawling on the floor towards them. But then a huge grenade was launched in my direction. I needed to go back or else I would be fully hit. It went slowly to go backwards. The grenade made an impact on the ground. I protected my eyes with my arms. The impact blew me away backwards.  
Then there was a path free and we were spontaneously inside the borders of the building. I needed to walk up a stairs but I was still glued on the floor it seemed. So instead of walking I just flew up and immediately also got rid of the stickiness. Once inside on the place we needed to be. We needed to find an evil kid and there were allot of kids present. The red ranger had a conversation with 1 of the female rangers (pink or yellow) they needed to transform without someone noticing. Apparently me too but can’t remember which color I had. First I needed to make sure they are able to transform before I do. The red one and pink or yellow transformed. Then the evil kid appeared, a blonde little boy with spiky hair and was wearing a cheap looking costume and walked toward the Green and Black ranger. The green and black were just standing in a corner to transform so I picked up that kid.  
Me: nope come here you, you cute little thing (and some other cute talk)  
I didn’t meant a word of it.  
Me: be a good boy and go play downstairs. And I put him down at the stairs that lead downstairs.  
In the main time All the rangers were transformed. Now I still need to. I looked into the mirror and I was wearing a black suit but it didn’t looked like a Ranger thing. With my creation magic I changed my suit into ascian robes with all detailed armor upon it.  
Me: be I made one myself I know all the details!  
I started with the front, hip. When I wanted to do that little piece above the hips I was being grabbed at my boobs (I don’t know who) and I was outside of my robes. I kept the robes floating so I could do everything flawlessly. the sides and the back. The back I needed to redo once it was done decently. Symbol of Zodiark on the back was absent some way or another. The hooded part I was already wearing. When the robes were finished I immediately also wore them . the armor was less thicker then that of my cosplay but they were under the contact cement color (that yellowish color)  
Red: ah don’t sweat it, it will be alright, you will improve it later on.  
Me: yeah I will hahah  
We went to sit at the table, because we had an appointment with the dad of the evil kid.  
I was sitting next to the Red ranger. What it was about I don’t remember it was short atleast. And before I knew we were back at where we started outside. 1 of the female rangers was still with me she had black hair, the rest wasn’t there anymore.  
Me: oh we are out of it.  
Female ranger: yeah but still no Elidibus.  
Me: maybe now, I am still wearing my ascian robes.  
FR: could be.  
Me: oh look a Galar Articuno!  
FR: ah wow.  
I wanted to throw a pokeball but that one changed into a fruitfly and flew away xD  
Allot of pokemon were flying in the air.  
Then we walked toward a different park where I saw more pokemon flying around. I tried again to catch one, but alas. Once we arrived at the park the ranger left and I saw an ascianin the disctance. In modern clothing walking with a dog. I recognized him being an ascian by his glyph he had in front of his face.  
Me: oh an ascian, is that lahabrea?  
When I got closer it happened to be Nabriales.  
Me: OH Nabriales!  
He was wearing a white jacket with a black hoodie. and the dog was black and white on a leash.  
His glyph disappeared and looked at me seriously and disappeared suddenly.  
Me: no wait!.... oh he is gone  
and then I only saw normal people walking around, then I woke up.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 16th  
Ok I had nothing but small dreams of being pregnant of Elidibus. (please gimmie those again)  
Even though Eli as WoL was in the dreams it wasn't sadly him. If he would appear as himself in dream he would be in ascian cloak.(or amaurotine!)  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 20th  
No this I random bullcrap but its funny.  
I was dreaming that I wanted to write down a fan fiction and pictures the scenes in front of me.  
Ascians on earth it was called:  
The unsundered were on Earth and arrived at my house but still on the streets. And then they saw me being an unsundered soul.  
Emet: 7 hells I got a heavy urge to create more unsundered souls with her.  
Lahabrea: yeah me too.  
elidibus: may i?  
Emet: you? (asking because he never had a girlfriend before) sure boss.  
Then I dreamt I was writing it down. The rest of the dreams were about lahabrea but he himself didn’t appear in it.  
I did finished the short fic later on that day xD it like what happened before I had the first ascian dream.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 22nd  
This dream is wrong and idiotic:  
So in this dream me and my ex returned home, while our son was left at home for that short while.  
Somehow I had the sudden horny urge to kiss Lahabrea firmly on his mouth (o-0 I mean what?! got relationship with eli much?!)  
Went I walked inside my horny mood was completely destroyed. Apparently Lahabrea would watch our son while we were gone. Our son made a total mess he had turned the whole floor upside down (figuratively speaking). Lahabrea was sitting at my computer. I walked towards him and noticed a dishwash soap bottle on the ground and it leaked massively .  
Me: what is this?!  
Laha: uh oh (looks at it) shit. I didn’t paid attention.  
I have never facepalmed so hard in my life.  
Me toward our son: was this seriously necessary?  
Son: SORRYYYY!  
Then I woke up.  
but then that same week when we came back from the local farmer our son said he heard typing at the computer while he was not at it…………….  
Lahabrea being poltergeisting XD  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
November 24th  
So I had this dream with a total mixture of earth and pre sundered source.  
Is was in a apartment building/flat building watching up in the air out of the window. Zodiark was about being summoned and I wanted to see that for a change, the entire sky turned dark while it was day and the opening in the air that was left from the clouds was about above our house. Until my watching got interrupted by sudden visitors, then I noticed I was topless.  
Me: ahhh wait let me put on my brah.  
Me putting my brah on hastily.  
My mom came to cut my hair.  
Then the scene skipped forward til after she was done. It was 4pm and I needed to be back in an hour. But then the scene switched again, I woke up inside that dream 30 minutes later. I passed out for some reason. I noticed it was clear again and missed the summoning. Its was 16:33 now. I wanted to go outside I set my alarm to go back 1 hour earlier. I didn't gave a shit it was 30 min overtime. I went to look outside for remaining traces of the summoning, but then it changed to random bullcrap that I didn't care to remember.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
November 27th  
Very short one  
I saw elidibus standing with his hands on his sides. There was a song playing in the background (nightcore shape of your body rock version) somewhere a glass was thrown on the ground and shattered in countless pieces. He looked at it and left.  
Not really an impressive dream but it had all details you can imagine.  
November 29th  
Lots of mitron dreams and 1 with elidibus with 4 other ascians on each side of him (so 8 total). That’s all I could remember  
\-----------------  
Well that was November  
in December we will be going onto a deep astral travel in Focking space while eli was away for 4 days. finding him in space.


End file.
